Come Sail Away
by ElizabethBella
Summary: COMPLETE! AU Season 4...Joey races to the dock to tell Pacey she loves him and join him on a great adventure, but he's just sailed away! A wedding, a graduation, a baby.. Dawson/Joey/Gretchen, Pacey/Andie, and Jack & Jen. Please: PLEASE R&R!
1. Separate, and apart

_A/N: This is my first A/U story, and it was **inspired by all the D/J and P/A 'shippers who read my P/J series and were so generous with their comments and reviews**. As always I own nothing, this is just fanfic. Oh, and slightly smutty starting at the end of chapter 6. Ahem._

_This story starts near Christmas. The summer before, Joey arrived at the dock just moments too late to declare her feelings to Pacey. He sailed off, not knowing. And stayed gone, bumming around teh waters of south Florida. Dawson took up with Gretchen. And Joey has spent much of the time on the outside, looking in..._

* * *

If he kept a journal, Pacey Witter knew just what he's write for the day's entry;

_Memo to self: when accepting an invitation from a lady to stay with her? Make sure her husband isn't expected home any time too soon. _

It had been just like something out of a soap opera. He'd been coming out of the shower. Heard the door close downstairs. A deep voice yelling up. The woman in bed rolling over and saying "That sounds _just_ like my husband."

Pacey had never dressed so fast in his life.

He'd slipped out the back door and raced down the lawn to the water's edge. Jumped onto the private pier and down to the _True Love, _making her ready with nimble fingers.

_Just not quite fast enough._

"You seem to be trespassing," the urbane gentleman had announced, strolling onto the pier with a fierce expression.

"Do I?" Pacey asked, pulling in his line.

"Well, this is my house, my land, and my dock…but not my sloop. Perhaps my wife bought it while I was away? She does like to have her little surprises."

Back up by the road at the front of the property, Pacey could just make out the private security guards heading down from the driveway.

_ The guy must have called before he even entered the house_, Pacey thought with frustration. "No, she's mine - all 22 feet of her," he said out loud, walking astern.

"Oh, I doubt that," he very deliberately placed a foot firmly on the line to stop Pacey from freeing it. "This is not a toy for children. What is she – a '69 Columbia?"

"'67," Pacey corrected, giving up on getting the line loose from the guy and reaching into his toolkit for his Bowie. "Good year for boats. And women."

"You little shit," the man snarled. "We'll see if you're so cocky once you're in custody for trespassing," He indicated the approaching security guys with a toss of his head.

Pacey tensed. They looked armed. _Who gives Mickey Mouse rent-a-cops guns? _Gritting his teeth, he brought the knife up into view and sliced the line.

The _True Love_ was free.

Pacey primed the engine, praying it'd catch. _Otherwise, this was gonna be the shortest fucking escape in history. _

The guards skidded to a stop next to him on the pier and leaned out to the boat, which was drifting now just barely out of reach.

_C'mon baby_, Pacey begged the motor. _C'mon, c'mon…_

With a grumble and spit, it turned over. Pacey grinned in relief, his heart thudding, as he accelerated away with a jaunty wave. "Give my regards to the missus!"

_---------------------------------------------------------------------_

"This has to be settled _sometime_, right?" Andie's gaze went to where Joey sat across the cafeteria.

"Well, we keep thinking there's a thaw in relations but somehow it never gets fixed. I think it's gonna take Jimmy Carter."

"Or Nelson Mandela."

"Or Bono."

"Ooh, if it's Bono, I totally have dibs."

"Are we accessorizing our lunch today with banter about Joey and Pacey?" Drue took the seat next to Jack. "How novel!"

"Get lost," Jen flashed a wicked fake smile.

"Someone should really tell him that the blue sunglasses are passe."

"Heresy! The glasses are classic, man."

"You guys make it sound like some kind of sustained war," Dawson interjected. "It's just…"

"Impasse?" Andie supplied. She flipped through the pages of her textbook as she sipped a diet soda.

"Exactly. It is utterly at odds with the Joey I've known all my life. Even though he's gone, his influence is still here poisoning the well."

"Seriously, Dawson? I think you're giving too much power to the guy. She isolates at school out of some misguided notion of respecting _you_," Jack pointed his fork at Dawson. "Which I think is stupid."

"Don't you think I would like her to be sitting with us?"

"Would you?" Jack challenged.

"Yeah, actually. I would."

"Then be the hero here," Andie advised.

"How very Dr. Phil of you," Jen observed.

Across the room, Joey stood and packed up her books. Without a tired half-smile in their table's direction, she left down the hall.

"Just go after her," Jack urged.

Dawson just pursed his lips and shook his head.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------_

Drue carried the keg into the restaurant on his shoulder. He stopped inside the door and waited for his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting.

"Over here!" Gretchen called. "Thanks for bringing these over."

Drue appraised her body appreciatively.

Gretchen rolled her eyes. "Take them down cellar," she pointed at the door.

"I'll show you," Dawson offered, leading the way towards the basement door. He lifted a chin in greeting to Andie, who smiled back.

"Hey, Andie," Gretchen called. "You here for Dawson?"

"Hi," Andie offered quietly. "No, I just thought I'd see if Mrs. Leery was hiring for the holidays? I've done some banquet work."

"I think she is," Gretchen leaned down and looked for an application on the shelf.

A postcard on the hostess podium caught Andie's eye. When Gretchen stood, she offered the post card. "It's from Pacey."

"Oh, then it's private, I…"

"Go ahead."

The picture was a large white mansion on a small island, with large ships docked on either side. '_Luca Island Yacht Club_', Pacey had drawn an arrow and written '_I am here_'. She traced the depression of his writing with a fingertip before flipping it over and reading the message.

"He's not coming back?" She couldn't believe it.

"Guess not right now," Gretchen sighed. "Merry Christmas Mom and Dad."

"What?" Dawson came to stand behind Gretchen.

Andie reluctantly handed it over.

"Huh," Dawson scanned it quickly and put it down on the podium. "You OK?" He asked Gretchen, almost kissing her but not quite.

Andie backed away, uncomfortable to be intruding. Lost in thought, forgetting the application, she headed out the door.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------_

Joey walked out of her room at the B&B, shocked to see Andie in the kitchen.

"Uh, hi…" She looked around to see if anyone else was there.

Andie cut right to the chase. "Do you still want him?"


	2. Pacey? Or Dawson?

Joey put down the coat and purse she was carrying and sat down on the nearest chair. "Dawson?" she asked, confused.

"Pacey," Andie corrected.

"_Pacey_," Joey repeated. "Oh."

"Luca Island Yacht Club," Andie told her excitedly. "It's off the coast of southern Florida, not too far from Miami."

"Yacht Club?"

"Looks like he's working there."

"Pacey? Working at a Yacht Club?" Joey felt stupid, unable to do more than reiterate Andie's words as her mind grappled with the information.

_In her mind's eye, she could still see that moment. Feel it. Racing home. Changing hurriedly. The ride into town and the run from where Bessie had dropped her to the docks. Seeing the True Love's mast from the hill, her heart leaping. Down through the parking lot. Down to the pier. Down to the very edge, realizing he was underway. Cupping her hands and shouting for him. Shouting again, louder. Unable to believe he couldn't hear her. _

_Willing him to turn around. _

_And watching as he just...sailed away. _

"He's probably running the place," Andie was saying. "I don't think he knows, Joey. That you chose _him_. That you tried to catch him last summer at the dock. I don't know how often he turns on his cell phone, because he hasn't returned our calls. Mine or Jack's. Or Jen's, for that matter. Wait, have you talked to him?"

"No," Joey sighed, glancing down to her hands.

_Watching the sunset. Walking home. The look in Bessie's eyes when she'd come through the door. The look in Dawson's eyes when he'd walked past her the next day at the store. How he'd looked away and kept moving as though she didn't exist... _

"Huh," Andie looked around. It had taken her hours to think after seeing the postcard before heading over to Joey's. She suddenly realized that it was Friday night and Joey was dressed up. "Oh, I'm sorry to just barge in here. You're on your way to the Leery's party, right?"

"No, it's… it's yes, I was," Joey tried to smile. "Looking for a Christmas miracle, I guess."

"He misses you."

_If you felt even one shred of what I feel for you, then we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation._

"Pacey?"

"Dawson," Andie corrected. "Unfortunately he's got so much pride…"

_You can't have both of us! You can't have him as your boyfriend and me as your consolation prize! You're gonna have to make a choice._

"That's what Jack says, too."

"Maybe he'd come home, you know? Maybe he would come back and finish high school and get his diploma and, oh, just come home. If he knew you'd been waiting for him."

"Pacey," Joey clarified.

"Yes," Andie nodded. "I know it sounds crazy, but now we know where he is. Call there. Call the Yacht club. Or send a telegram, or even, I don't know, a road trip?!"

"No," Joey answered, holding up her hands. "Andie, _please_. Stop."

"You're in love with him. He's in love with you."

"No," Joey whispered.

_It's tearing me up on the inside to have these feelings for you, but I can't get rid of them. _

"You are," Andie argued. "You have to be. Or else what has all this been for? All last year? All these months?"

"Andie," she looked away, out the window.

"Joey, please. Bring him home."

Joey slowly shook her head. "I can't," she whispered.

"He's throwing his life away," Andie begged.

"That's his choice!" Joey finally exploded, getting up and pacing. "I mean it, Andie. You can't just make people do what you want them to. You can't make them choose the right things or take the right paths. Trust me on this. He took that wreck and he made it into a boat and then he left on it. It's not like he was accidentally tossed away to Gilligan's Island. He _chose_ to leave. I don't know what you're picturing but I'm not going to chase him and ask him to change his mind!"

"Dawson, you mean! You gave up Dawson!"

"All right, _yes_. I gave up Dawson. My best friend. My soul mate. I looked him right in the eyes and might as well have shot him. And now I'm left behind to deal with that every single day. To see how betrayed he is, still. To live separated from the one person who has been a constant in my life since I can remember. I practically grew up at the Leery Christmas parties, Andie. I used to help Gale and my mom decorate for them when Dawson and I were just little kids. And now I barely know if I'll be welcome."

"You will be."

"Are you sure? Because from where I sit, all I can see is the pain I've caused in the past year. And for what? For a guy who loved me SO much that he got on a boat and sailed away without so much as a look back. I was standing on the dock and he never even looked back!"

"He didn't know that you were there! Why can't you reach out? Just a little bit?"

Joey crossed her arms and looked out the window. "No."

Andie wanted to scream in frustration, but she could see it would do no good. Joey was as implacable as stone. "Well. I have to try if you won't."

"I hope it works out," she said, still looking out the window. "I want him to be OK. But I'm not holding my breath. Just so you know that."

"So it's Dawson?" Andie asked.

Joey didn't answer.

* * *

Dawson pointed up at the mistletoe and waggled his eyebrows at Gretchen. She looked around before giving him a tentative smile of encouragement. 

They kissed.

"We shouldn't be doing this," she sighed, feeling guilt surge through her veins. "We have to stop."

"Gretchen," Dawson groaned, leaning against the doorway.

"I mean it, Dawson. That's three times, now.'

"Four."

"And we're just at such different places in our lives…"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Gretchen shook her head and moved off to the kitchen.

Joey stood in the entryway, holding poinsettia and feeling like someone had just punched her in the gut. Jack quickly walked over to her and put his arms around her shoulders.

"Great party, huh?"

Joey couldn't respond, could barely take in air.

"You all right?" he asked, leading her to a quiet corner as the boisterous Christmas party exploded around them.

"I don't know," she admitted.

Jack pressed his lips to her forehead and held her close.

* * *

Andie finished packing and zipped up the duffel bag and dropped it on the floor. Then she began putting back all the things she'd decided not to take. 

A soft knock sounded. Her father stepped into her room. "Hi," he looked around, and then back at his daughter. "What's up?"

"Hi, Dad," she gave him a crooked smile. Sat on the edge of the bed.

"The principal called me," he said, pulling out the chair from her desk. Sitting down across from her and trying to gauge her mood. "You've completed your high school requirements."

"Plus 15 AP credits, that's an entire semester's worth of college work."

"I'm very proud of you," he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "So you're thinking about our conversation? About living with your Aunt in Italy?"

Andie stared blankly at the wall.

He looked at the pennants to the Ivy League schools. The photographs tacked to a board. Then back at his daughter. "Then what's on your mind, Andie?"

"Florida," she admitted.

"Florida," he repeated.

"A vacation?"

Andie thought about how to answer him. "Uh, there's a volunteer program there, at the Nature Conservancy."

"I'm guessing that the plight of the coral reef isn't what's got you so upset, though?" he asked.

"Pacey's there," she whispered.

"Pacey?"

"Yes," she admitted, softly.

"You can't…" Joseph McPhee started to dictate, and then faltered when he saw the pain in her eyes.

She lifted her eyes to him. "He's lost. When I was lost, he saved me. I need to do the same for him," she said seriously.

"Have you forgotten that it was in that relationship that you fell so far in the first place?"

"We both know Pacey isn't what caused it!"

"Your mother…"

"Is getting better, too. And she's in an excellent day program. She doesn't need me here."

"No," he breathed. "But I do. Or with your Aunt in Italy. Or a similar situation. Safe. Protected. Not alone in Florida, chasing after some guy…"

"He's not just some guy, Dad. And it's an excellent program."

"Andie, you are barely 18 and barely recovered. What you need now is to keep focusing on your own health."

"Dad…" she pleaded.

"No," he told her firmly. "I'm sorry, Andie. No."

The fought the tears that slipped from her eyes. She nodded, but wouldn't look at him.

* * *

"Hey," Pacey knotted the line and tugged it. 

"Oh, no," Trick Newsom undid the line and grabbed it up. "You can't park here, man. You pissed off one of the premium members of this club."

Pacey looked up at Trick, squinting against the glare of the sun. "Outta gas, outta everything. Plus you still owe me at least a week's wages."

Trick smoothed the thick silver hair that was pulled back in a ponytail. Sighed. "You're trouble," he insisted.

"Trick," Pacey wheedled. "I'll stay out of sight. And work the kitchen all Christmas and Christmas Eve."

"With a cut of the tips, of course."

Pacey shrugged and smiled. "It's only fair."

It took about a minute of haggling before the bargain had been struck. Trick and the Dockmaster found the _True Love_ a slip on the backside of the compound, near the drydocks. It was completely inconvenient to the rest of the property, but at least it had full hookups.

Pacey took his time with the boat's chores. Eventually Trick reappeared, a 6-pack in his hand.

"Knew you wouldn't stay away," Trick popped one open for himself and settled into one of the folding deck chairs.

"It was a sudden decision," Pacey joked, a crooked grin as he took a beer for himself. Luca Island was mostly public parkland. But the 25 or so acres owned by the Yacht Club, with the traditional massive white wedding-cake main building in the center, was the jewel of it all. Pacey looked around and whistled. "I forgot how beautiful this place is."

"You've only been away a few weeks," Trick had seen generations of guys pass through. _But he had a soft spot for Pacey, the kid who'd hobbled in after a storm the summer before, skinny and hungry and looking like the devil was at his back._

"How's business?"

"High season, my man. If the good Lord showed up on a floating donkey, I truly do not know where we'd put him. We're lousy with UFL and UM kids looking to make bank for the holidays; the bunkhouses are full. I got a couple of guys in a tent, if you can believe that."

"Damn," Pacey saluted him and took a long, cold swallow. "Glad I travel with my own bed."

"Tell me about it. Angie is planning for 3 seatings Christmas Eve, double that Christmas Day. She was just bitching about being short-handed in the kitchen. I bet her a 20 that you'd be back."

"Omniscient much?"

"Nope, just know your new _friend's_ husband always comes back for the holidays."

"Be nice if you'd told me?"

"Now where would the fun in that be? Plus, you got a visitor."

Pacey could of sworn his heart actually skipped a beat. "I do? How? Who?"

"And again, I ask you; where would the fun in telling you be?"

Pacey looked up at the main building and back at Trick. "You're full of shit."

Trick gathered up the last of his beers and ambled off. "Main bar," he suggested as he walked away.

"Thanks," Pacey's voice dripped irony. He looked down at his untucked, faded print shirt and frayed khaki shorts. Knew he was salty and scruffy from a couple of days at sea. Screw it, he decided. And hopped onto the pier to see what was waiting for him.


	3. Hold Me

Dawson saw them out of the corner of his eye. Jack holding Joey's hand as she acted as though she wanted to leave. Both of them in their coats, words steaming in the frozen air, standing by the driveway.

"What's going on?" Jen asked. Then she followed his gaze out the window.

"Nothing," Dawson shrugged.

"Hmm," Jen leaned her head on his shoulder.

The music from the living room drifted in, and Dawson turned towards Jen. Holding out his arms. "Dance with me," he urged.

She made a little curtsey before stepping into the familiar sensation of his embrace. With a quick movement, he turned them into a lilting waltz to the echoes of a Keane song.

"Dawson," Jen caught his eyes and trapped them with her soft expression.

"Can't we just have this moment? Without talking about it?"

"No," Jen insisted. "We can't. I spent months feeling pretty crappy about how we turned out. But one of the things that made it all slightly better was knowing that you and Joey were one of those forces of nature. Meant to be."

"So I have no say in the matter?"

"None at all," Jen agreed with a smile. "Look, if I'm wrong then explain to me _why_, 6 months later, it still hurts so much that you can't bear to look at her."

Dawson's eyes shined but he didn't respond.

"It's Christmas, Daws. A time for magic."

"Did you really just say that?"

"I know, not exactly in keeping with my usually McScrooge-ness. But bear me out. This fault line between you and Joey is hurting all of us. And I'm not saying that to be selfish, or to lay some guilt trip at your feet. I'm saying that because people _care_, Dawson. They want you to be happy. And I just don't see that happening as long as you haven't made peace with Joey."

"Don't be so sure," Dawson twirled her.

"Take my word for it," Jen said promptly. "I speak from experience. After all, I was the original roadkill on the highway of Dawson and Joey."

"Not true!" Dawson chuckled. "And now you've got me imagining a really flat armadillo with shiny yellow hair."

"I think I just vomited a little," she laughed.

"May we cut in?"

Jack and Joey stood in the doorway to the den, still in their coats.

Jen and Dawson went still. All eyes on him, waiting.

All the anger flared up in him again like an explosion. But then it seemed to fade a bit.

Dawson finally moved his jaw down, once. But didn't say a word.

She stepped towards him like in a dream. Knees knocking, still in her jacket.

Jen stepped back, and waited as Jack dropped his coat on the chair. Took her up and began moving Jen around.

Dawson, arms by his side, stared at her.

Joey stared at his feet. Then his legs. His belt, slung low on his hips. The buttons on his shirt. The neck between the points of his collar. His lips.

His eyes.

The song stopped, out in the front rooms. Conversations got louder, carrying to the silence of the den. Someone laughed, rowdily. Another song started. Someone else shouted for more punch.

Jen and Jack held their breath.

Dawson's hand moved without him thinking to do it. And then her fingers were touching his, with a jolt of electricity that made them both jump, just a tiny bit.

And then they were moving.

Step-together, gradually.

Their eyes locked, not speaking.

"Let's let them…" Jack whispered to Jen.

She nodded, and they began dancing out the door. Never seeing Gretchen, watching thoughtfully from the hall.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------_

Pacey came in through the back door by the kitchen. Greeted the guys he knew, nodded to the head chef.

By the time he slipped into the main bar at the front of the building, his eyes had accustomed to being indoors again.

It only took him a second to recognize who was waiting for him at the bar.

"Dougie," he clapped his brother on the back.

Doug turned and pulled Pacey into a fierce hug.

"Holy shit," Pacey pulled back, hands up in mock surrender. "I'm not back from the dead."

"I should kill you just on the sheer principle of it," Doug told him, sitting back down. "Do you have any idea? What it's done to Mom and Dad? The sisters? Especially Gretchen."

"I sent postcards, left voice mails…" Pacey indicated to the bartender, who poured him a tall glass of ice water.

"A postcard, singular. And two voice mails on my machine. Whereas your voice mailbox has been full since October."

"It has?" Pacey took a long sip, felt the chill all the way down his throat. "What are you doing here, man?"

"Didn't I just explain it? We didn't know if you were alive or dead or what. Damnit," Doug put his glass down on the bar. "Where's the boat? We need to pack you up."

"No, Doug."

"Don't make me arrest you, because I'll do it. For the family's sake I will haul you back in cuffs if I have to."

"On what charges, Doug? Being a poor correspondent?"

"You're just a screwed up kid playing life and death games! Time to come home, Pacey."

"Wait, is everyone all right? Mom? The girls? Gretchen?"

Doug fought to bring his temper under control. "NOW you ask?"

"Tell me, Doug," Pacey ordered, suddenly concerned.

"Yes. Everyone's fine. Or, the same. Except Gretchen, who is taking the year off and working at Leery's."

"Wait, Gretchen dropped out of school? Isn't she supposed to be a senior?"

"Aren't _you_?"

Pacey rubbed the short hair of his buzz cut and sighed. "Can we start over? 'Cuz I got to tell you, we seem to be getting off on the wrong foot here."

Doug puffed out a breath and made a clucking noise of exasperation.

"It's good to see you," Pacey told him sincerely.

Doug looked Pacey up and down. "You look terrible. Healthy, but terrible."

"Yeah, well. I literally just arrived back here a couple of hours ago. I've been at sea since last Tuesday. I probably need a shower, and then a bath."

"So, this is where you live now?"

"For the moment."

"Then what? What are you going to do with the rest of your life, Pacey? You've got no money, no home, no high school diploma…"

"The _True Love_ is my home, Doug. And believe it or not, I've been working as a prep cook here. I kind of like it, actually."

"Prep cook? And that comes with, what? Health insurance and a 401(k)?"

"Well, I was thinking of heading over to Canaveral and hopping a spaceship, but that looked a little iffy in the safety department."

"This isn't a joke, Pacey."

"Of course it is, Doug! I'm 18 years old, supporting myself, with a beautiful boat and no fixed destination. This is the American dream, man! This is exactly the time in my life to be doing this. And it's not like Harvard was on the phone begging me to show up next year. Look at me, man. I'm happy. Do you even know what that word means? Happy! And all your screwed-up values and jealousy isn't going to take it away from me!"

"That's why you waited until your birthday to get in touch? That's why you hid from us while you were still a minor? Because you knew people cared, and were looking for you. Could make you come home, where you belonged. You _knew_, man. Worried fucking sick! Like an idiot, I actually thought you'd be back when school started. How many times have you pulled that football away at the last moment, but I still believed? You made a promise to me, Pacey. That you'd be home before school started."

He couldn't believe that his brother had actually just dropped the f-bomb on him. Exhaling in a rush he nodded. "That's the part I regret, actually. Breaking my promise to you. But I couldn't come back. There was nothing to come back to."

Doug's jaw tensed but he didn't say all the things that flooded to his mind.

Pacey sighed and looked over at the hostess. He held up 2 fingers and she nodded. "C'mon, Doug," he slapped his brother on the back. "Let me buy you dinner. Show you around. Spend the night on the _True Love_."

Doug finished his drink and breathed deep.

"_Please_, Doug. You came all this way."

"OK," he answered, feeling defeated. "OK, Pacey."

_---------------------------------------------------------------------_

Andie stood in line for security, her brother and father behind the rope and waving.

Her brother had argued with her about leaving before Christmas. Pleaded with her to stay just another couple of weeks.

But in the end, Andie had won out. And in a matter of days, she and her father had pushed through the preparations. The tickets purchased. The legal paperwork completed. The details taken care of.

The officer looked at her passport and ticket and then waved her through. She gathered up her messenger bag on the other side of the conveyor belt.

Then she looked back, and waved. They waved back. Then she turned and made her way to the gate, the plane, the other side of the world...

_---------------------------------------------------------------------_

The mist curled off the creek as she walked down the lawn.

"I got your message."

Dawson turned, saw her, slammed the axe into a log before meeting her halfway.

"I'm all sweaty," he tugged on his sweater.

"That's all right, we shouldn't be getting so close that I'd notice."

"Gretchen," his voice soft, sad. "What happened Friday night? What's going on now?"

"You know what's going on," she said, walking past him down to the tree line. "Joey."

"It was one dance," Dawson argued, following her. "One step in a process of trying to regain a friendship. I fail to see how it has anything to do with us."

"There is no 'us', Dawson. There can't be. I graduated almost 4 years ago; practically a lifetime. I shouldn't have let things get as far as they have."

"Gretchen," he grabbed for her hand but she pulled it away. "C'mon."

She turned. Eye to eye, neither one happy.

"Tell me what to say," he begged.

"There's nothing _to_ say. The saga of Dawson and Joey is pretty legendary."

"So is the saga of Dawson and Gretchen," he pulled something from his back pocket. "I found this while hunting up Christmas decorations."

She opened the letter and began to read. Moving into a sunbeam and finding a log to perch on. He watched, a little anxious. After a few minutes, he couldn't stand it anymore and went back to chopping wood.

Gretchen read the letter more than twice;

"_…There's someone truly special in my life that I can't stop thinking about. She's unlike anyone I've ever met. Smart and funny and beautiful and just knowing that she's in my life has given me this constant fluttering that keeps me awake at night. When I think about who I can talk to about this, who will understand, the only person that comes to mind is you. And that's a problem because you are the one that I feel this way about._"

He loaded the firewood into the wheelbarrow. Stopping when he realized she was standing, watching him.

"Wow," she said, looking at the paper in her hand. "That was some crush."

He squinted at her, "…and unrequited at the time."

"Ouch," she smiled a little.

"But then she walked right back into my life. Into the hardware store. And looking even more beautiful than ever."

Gretchen felt the blush all the way to her toes.

She took a step towards him. "I have to be careful, Dawson. I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm not a kid anymore," he told her, taking a step towards her.

"No, you're not," she agreed, taking the final step towards him.

"But I am still sweaty," he lifted her hand and put it on his chest.

"Are you?" She wrinkled her nose.

"Kiss me anyway, Gretchen. Kiss me anyway."

And she did.


	4. Let Me Go

The morning of Christmas Eve, 10 bags of potatoes, a peeler, and coffee brewing.

_Oh, joy. _

Pacey tied a bandana around his forehead and rested against the long woodblock table in front of the picture window at the back of the kitchen.

_You know, you have to give to the Club Members – it's a much merrier Christmas when someone else does all the work_.

He moved to pour a cup for himself and another for the second prep cook, a University of Miami student named Ed. "About time," he chided, holding out a mug as the guy stumbled in.

"Christ, it's only 6," Ed groaned, taking the cup gratefully.

"Merry freaking Christmas," Pacey toasted him, and then got to work.

"I'm a Taoist, actually."

"Well, grab a peeler and start yinging to my yang," Pacey instructed.

"Man, if I had anywhere better to be today…but my family doesn't celebrate and the money here is too good to pass up." He picked up a peeler and began helping. "How about you?"

"I wish I could say my family doesn't celebrate either," he said with a laugh.

"Then why aren't you with them?"

Pacey thought about a dead dog's picture bedecked in lights, his sister Carrie furtively digging into the pies before dinner, screaming unhappy kids, his brother and Gretchen hiding outside with the firewood, and his father shouting at his mother about all the holidays he spent in Denang with a 100 pounds of ammo on his back and a prostitute under each arm.

He shook his head and gave Ed a look. "Yeah, hard to believe I'd rather be here, huh?"

"Oh c'mon, I didn't grow up under a rock. I saw the clay-mation Christmas specials, even the ones with the singing puppets. There's gotta be some good memories, right?"

"Well," he looked up in thought. "There's was this time I got an 'A' on my history exam. That was _definitely_ a Christmas miracle."

Ed snorted. "That's the best you can do?"

"There was a bit more to the story…" Pacey allowedand then stopped_. Some things were too private to share. _He pointed at Ed with his peeler, "Just get to work, slacker."

"Yes, sir!"

* * *

Dawson watched his father fuss over his pregnant mother with the last of his patience. Grateful when the doorbell rang.

Until he saw who it was.

"Joey," he sighed.

"Can we talk?"

The dance the week before had been the only thaw so far between them but they'd both known that somehow, it had to lead to this. _The discussion of the relationship_.

Dawson looked back at his parents and grabbed a coat, joining her outside.

They walked, shoulder to shoulder, out to the dock. Joey noticed that they ended up in the exact place they'd stood 6 months before.

"_Joey, come on. Even I can see it. Pacey is this year's Paris. And this time you have to go. You have to see for yourself. I can stand here and tell you that it's a colossal mistake and that all roads lead back to me, but that's not going to make any bit of difference. Words and speeches sound great, but they don't add up to anything. All that matters right now is what you want."_

"_I don't even know what I want, Dawson."_

"_Yes, you do. You want him. You want him like I want you. You love him like I love you. The only difference is, he loves you back the same way. And you deserve that, okay? And I'm not going to be the one who stands in the way of you getting there. You're free. You can do whatever you want."_

The words echoed in the space.

"Back to the scene of the crime," Dawson observed softly.

"It's all so surreal," she agreed, looking away. "In a million permutations of a million possible worlds, I could of never imagined one where we weren't there for each other. But as impossible as it would have been to imagine, living through it is infinitely harder."

"Joey…" Dawson pressed his hand onto the railing. "What do you want from me?"

"Want? I don't know! Just…you, Dawson. Just _you_. Like it was. I keep remembering last year, and that dance, and…oh… Do you know how quickly I would take it all back if I'd known?"

"What? It didn't occur to you that running around behind my back with Pacey would hurt me?"

"Like you rejecting my offer of my body? Like me kissing Jack? Like you choosing Jen?"

"Stop," he groaned.

"I try and go out on dates, but all I end up doing is talking about you. I try and move on, but…"

Dawson recoiled.

"Every time we've hurt each other, we've found a way back. _Every time_. Growing up together is impossible. It's messy and unpredictable and it seems like you can never be in the same place or the same phase in life at the same time. But somehow, we were able to navigate our friendship through cooties, and my mother's death, and my father's… well, everything… and body hair, and Katie Couric, and you mom's affair with Bob and even your drunken forays into the Blues genre. Why not this? Why can't we find each other now, Dawson?"

He watched the sun on the waves. The geese waddling on the shore. "Rosenthal said that 'When something important is going on, silence is a lie.' And that's what it felt like, standing on my porch. Like I had just discovered this massive lie that betrayed the core of us – which was **truth**. I didn't always like it, but I counted on it, Jo. I counted on you being genuine, no matter what that meant in the moment."

She nodded.

"You had to know, Jo," he accused. "You had to know what was happening between us. We were all getting along, everything finally seemed to be coming together. Except it was you and Pacey coming together, and me the fool on the outside."

"Not the fool," she argued.

The breeze filtered through her hair, colored her cheeks. Dawson felt a tendril of warmth from something as he watched the winter sun on Joey's face - _desire_.

He swallowed some of the chill December air and tried to shake it off.

"You threw me away," she remembered.

"I was trying to save us," he promised. "I was trying to give us the space we needed."

"Like I did, before? Payback?"

"No! Jo, listen, the single most impossible thing I have ever done was to look at you that night, so innocent and so damned beautiful, and not bodily devour you."

"But why?" she asked, brokenly.

"Doesn't it seem like that since the beginning, that we have taken turns at pushing each other away? Like star-crossed lovers whose messengers pass in flight?"

"It does," she agreed thoughtfully.

"I think it's because…" he looked at her, staring into her eyes. "Because we _are_ soul-mates. The weight of this sense of destiny can sometimes crush us. Each time we get close to really committing to each other, we pull back. Like it's one of those insane rides you wait and wait to go on – but then get terrified of riding once it's your turn. So we run to the end of the line again."

"The Six Flags analogy to love," she tossed him a crooked grin. "Will you ever forgive me, Dawson? For hiding my relationship with Pacey from you? For hurting you?"

"I already have, Jo. I've mostly been angry because you ran away and never came back."

"Never left, you mean."

"No," he disagreed. "You've been so far away from me. I thought you were mad for some reason. Now I wonder if it was because you were waiting for a sign from me."

"I was."

"You shouldn't have."

"Well, I didn't have my best friend around to help me figure that out," she exhaled. "My life doesn't make sense without you, Dawson."

"And yet, you fell in love with someone else."

She looked him straight in the eye. "I did," she confessed. "Which I guess proves that as much as providence seems to have drawn us together – we have the power to change that. To choose paths and passions apart."

"Are you still in love with him, Jo?"

"It's like this sort of sweet-tasting memory. You know, we never carved out anything that was ours, really, so there's nothing to hold onto now that he's gone."

"What if he came back?"

She shook her head slowly. "I don't think so..."

He nodded, slowly.

"The first time we kissed, it seems so long ago-"

"_You_ pulled back then," he reminded her.

"Was it just me, or did the cosmic egg crack that night?"

"Blowed up, is more like. When you ran away from me last summer, all I could think was that now we'd never get our chance. That you being with him would just render any hope of us irrevocably _gone_. And I got to tell you, Jo…"

"I know," she concurred brokenly.

Dawson watched the play of emotions in her expression. Felt his heart squeeze so hard that breathing _hurt_.

"Joey," he murmured.

She met his eyes.

"Joey."

She put her hands on his chest, tentatively.

He reached out and cradled her face with his fingers. "Enough," he said.

Joey nodded.

"We can't fix this in one conversation," he told her.

"I know," she whispered. "But we can begin to try?"

"We can begin to try," he agreed, a half-smile on his lips.

She smiled back up at him, suddenly aware that his hands were still on her cheeks.

He stared back - aware, too.

Then Dawson leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. Like a detonation, she responded. Her arms around his body, her hips pressed against his. He dragged his lower lip along her jaw and felt her shiver against his chest. Tangled his hand in her hair, pulling her closer. Feeling her give in to him, completely.

And then, without warning, another face swam before his eyes. He ripped himself away from Joey. Panting and confused.

"What?" she asked. "What is it?"

"I can't," he acknowledged, reluctantly. "I just can't, Jo." He regretted it as soon as the words were out of his mouth but she was already moving away.

"Oh," she re-buttoned her coat. "Oh, of course."

Turning without another word, Joey ran (once again) down the pier and up the lawn to her car.

"_Fuck_!" Dawson shouted to the creek, dropping his head up and closing his eyes in frustration.

* * *

Christmas morning. Jack walked down the steps to an empty house. The night before had triggered something in his mother, and his father had driven her to an inpatient facility.

There were no gifts under the unlit tree.

Just the tick tock of the grandfather clock reverberating through the rooms.

Until his cell phone rang.

"I just landed," his sister yawned at him.

"How is it there?"

"Gorgeous. How is it there?"

"Empty."

"Oh, Jack. Should I…?"

"No. You do what you have to do. I'll be all right."

The doorbell rang, and Jack wedged the receiver against his shoulder as he opened it.

"Grams says that if we're not both up and ready by the time she gets back from Church then she's gonna make us eat fruitcake," Jen announced in the doorway with a big smile. "Merry Christmas, by the way."

"Merry Christmas," he returned, kissing her soundly.

"Merry Christmas!" Andie shouted at them from the headset.

"You, go!" Jack ordered his sister, snapping the phone shut. "You, stay," he pulled Jen into a hug. "I'll get dressed."

"Hurry!" she ordered with a giggle. "I hate fruitcake


	5. Surprises

Pacey pulled on the navy blue blazer over an outfit of khaki shorts, white shirt, boat shoes, and the official Luca Island Yacht Club tie in crimson and gold stripes.

"I'm ridiculous," he announced to his reflection.

"That you are," Trick agreed, entering the locker room wearing an almost identical outfit – except with long pants. "But at least you look good."

Pacey rolled his eyes.

Trick tossed him a shiny wrapped package. "Merry Christmas, boyo."

"Oh," Pacey caught the box. "I got you something, it's on the boat."

"Later," Trick beamed. "They're about to start."

"Can't wait," Pacey's voice dripped sarcasm.

No one had warned him that part of the Club's tradition was people coming in, even from the mainland, to gather around and sing Handel's _Messiah_ before the big Christmas brunch buffet.

With employees in mandatory attendance, in full uniform.

He looked down at the box in his hands and sat down on a bench to open it. His first – and, it seemed, _only_ – Christmas gift.

He gasped when he realized what it was; a Tacktick wireless system. A speed/wind/depth display that was worth hundreds, maybe _thousands _if Trick paid retail.

Amazed, touched, overwhelmed. Pacey just stared at the gift.

"Wow," he said to his boss.

"I'm tired of you getting lost," Trick said gruffly. "Now c'mon. We'll be late."

Pacey put the box in his locker and followed Trick to the ballroom.

He snuck into the last row of employees standing behind the piano next to the giant tree. The guests were ensconced in padded folding chairs, it seemed like hundreds of them.

Someone handed Pacey the lyric sheets and he opened his mouth to join along.

Then, across the room, in one of the last rows, something caught his eye.

Actually, _someone_.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here, Andie?" Pacey demanded in a fierce whisper, guiding her by the elbow out the main door.

"Seeing you," she announced the obvious, letting Pacey steer her towards the back of the plantation style property. "Merry Christmas!"

"No! _Not_ Merry Christmas. That makes it seem like you happened to find yourself at the same Church as me completely coincidentally. Not traveled a dozen states down the seaboard and taken a left south of Miami!"

"You're not happy to see me?"

"I'm flabbergasted to see you. But _why_ do I see you? Shouldn't you be walking through the snow somewhere? Chestnuts roasting and family yuletide carols ringing a bell?"

"Do you remember your going away party?"

"What the…"

"Do you?"

"Of course."

"And Grams said that we needed to give love a chance. Remember? The story of her and the guy and how she got on an airplane and went to San Francisco and shouted his name and had this one perfect kiss?"

"So?"

"Pacey, I love you."

Pacey took a step back as though he'd been hit.

"I love you, Pacey. I always have. As far as I can tell, I always will. I woke up yesterday morning in _Italy_ of all places. Woke up and the church bells were ringing and my aunt was telling me that I should dream up the most fantastic dream and go after it. And you know what I dreamed up? You. _You_, Pacey. So here I am, on Christmas. Asking you to give love another chance."

"Andie, you don't know what you're…"

"Bullshit," she interrupted. "Don't tell me I'm crazy, because we both know _that's_ true. But it has nothing to do with this. You told me it was over so I believed you. And I tried, I really did, to move on…"

"That was a long…"

"I know. And I know this is a hopeless holiday quest that probably makes me seem a little bit like a stalker and maybe possibly you might be wondering if you should call the guys with the big white nets."

"It's a big gesture, I'll give you that," Pacey loosened his tie. "But…"

"No. Let me finish, please. The thing is, you said you knew I wasn't the one for you. And that sentence… well, suffice it to say that one sentence has probably affected my life more than any other single string of words in my lifetime. Well, except for one."

Pacey's face tightened in memory.

"I woke up yesterday morning really free for the first time in my life to be _anywhere_, to want _anything_, to choose _anyone_. And Pacey…"

"This is…" he interrupted, holding up a hand. "I mean, I can't believe you're here. You shouldn't be here. Let me gas up one of the Club's runabouts and get you back to the mainland."

"No," She shook her head.

"You can't stay. Your family must be going nuts."

"Pacey-"

"I know for a fact there's no rooms available."

"Pacey, I want to be _here_. With you."

"Go home, Andie."

"So that's it? That's your response?"

"We live two completely different lives now and it's nice to see you, but yes, that's it. It has to be."

"I say I choose you and you stand there in your Captain Stubing outfit and act like we're somehow doing a scene from _Remains of the Day_?"

"I don't know what you were expecting, coming all this way…"

"At least have the courage to say something true. Here, I'll give you an example; tell me you're still in love with Joey."

Pacey groaned and turned to face her. "It's not about that. Can we, I don't know, start in the shallow end of the pool here, McPhee? Because outside of my brother, you're the first familiar face I've seen since last June. And this conversation is feeling an awful lot like trying to drink from a firehose."

She sighed, and nodded. The wind snapping at her hair and skirt.

"So, Italy?" he asked at last.

"Mmm," she agreed.

"You're done, then, with high school?"

She nodded again. "I probably could have been done last year. It's just that…it's never occurred to us, to Jack and I, to be apart."

"We all have to break out on our own sometime."

"Is that what brought you here?"

Pacey stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Yes."

"And I've invaded it."

"Well, as I said, you're not the first," he squinted, gave her a small smile.

"Um, have you studied for your G.E.D.?"

"My…what?"

"You know, there's ways to get high school credit through exams and stuff. If you do something like that, you can still graduate. And a diploma is worth more than a G.E.D., you know?"

"Uh, I hadn't thought about it."

"Oh. OK." She placed her hand over her stomach.

"What's wrong?" he asked, moving to her side.

"Nothing," she dismissed. "I think I'm just hungry."

"When was your last meal?"

"Yesterday? I had some rice on the plane over Iceland, I think."

"Damn it. OK, how about… I'll grab you some food to go, cruise us down to the Keys and see the dolphins. I could have you back to the airport by sunset."

"No," she disagreed. "If you're going to reject me, then just do it, Pacey. Don't make it worse by pretending to be nice."

"I'm not pretending," Pacey dropped his head and looked up at the sky, a thousand feelings racing in his confused mind.

"After we came to our earth-shattering halt, it was like everything we felt just turned to dust. You didn't hate me - you just stopped caring. Turned some magic dial and 'poof' you let go of us, our friendship… But I never did. I-" she took a long breath. "I never did, Pace. And that's kinda sucked because you've been gone so very long. So if you really want me to leave, just say it. Say it quick. And I'll go. But if there's a chance we could just talk, just spend some time together…"

"What do you want me to say?"

"The truth."

"Aiiiiiiiiy!!!" Pacey burst. "You really want to know the truth?"

She faced him, and waited.

"The truth is that you're _right_. The day I found out you cheated on me, I _did_ just stuff it all in a box inside of me, close the lid, lock it up, and throw away the key. You know, what Dawson said on his birthday was smack on the money. I had a role in the world. A path. And maybe it was comic foil and lovable screw-up, but it was _mine_, it was what I knew and let's be honest if we're being honest – I had it all down pat. Then you came along and ripped it all to shreds. Dared me to be different, tore me out of my comfortable world. I walked out on the ledge for you, lady, only to find that you weren't there beside me."

She nodded as the tears dripped down her face. "I was a sick..." she began. Then shook her head. "I screwed up. All on me. But it wasn't because you didn't mean everything to me. You _did_, and no one else has ever come close. I made a _mistake_. And God, have I have paid!"

"No more than me," Pacey challenged, eyes flashing. "So yes, I went cold. And yes, reverted to type. And fell for the only woman on this planet that had a Do Not Disturb sign hanging over her head. And all that proves to me is that the Pacey I was with you was an illusion. A lie we invented. It didn't last once the curtain went down."

"It wasn't a lie," she argued. "You got those grades, Pacey. It's all written down in black and white."

"And so are the failures I got after we broke up."

"So it was all just a fantasy?" She rubbed the tears away with the palm of her hand.

"Not _all_," he relented, thinking back to the first time they made love. "I just can't spend my life changing who I am to try and make people love me. I can't be some preppy overachiever for you. I couldn't be Dawson for Joey. Hell, I couldn't even be Pacey for Dawson. Or a Doug-clone to make my family happy. I have to be true to myself, Andie. And that's who I've been discovering since I left Capeside."

Andie bobbed her head in understanding. "You're saying I chased a ghost 4000 miles," she whispered ruefully.

"I'm sorry, Andie."

She rubbed the back of her neck and thought about his words. "Pacey…?"

He turned to face her again.

"Would you believe me if I said that, if that is the case, then I would really like the chance to get to know who you've become?"

He held her gaze for a long moment. "You've always had eyes far too wise for our age."

"So you're not the guy I bumped into more than 2 years ago. All right, I'm not the same girl. But it's Christmas, and it's…paradise," she gestured the Yacht Club.

"I can't make you any promises, Andie."

"I'm not asking for any. I would really just like to spend some time with you. Even if it's only a day."

"All right. Just for a day, mind you," he tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow and began leading her back to the main house. "What do you say, we rustle you up something to eat. Get me back to work before I'm fired. And then, tonight, maybe hang with the dolphins?"

"I'd say that sounds like a perfect Christmas."

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Joey sat on the steps of the B&B. She could hear Alexander's happy roars as he ripped off the paper from the presents. He was too small to understand what the gifts were, but definitely evolved enough to enjoy the tearing and destruction that came with unwrapping.

"Hey," Bessie said softly, handing over a steam cup as she joined her sister.

"Hey," Joey took the mug gratefully and breathed in the comforting scent of the coffee. "Mmm, Bodie made it. I can tell."

"That he did," Bessie acknowledged. "So you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

"Dawson kissed me."

"Wow," Bessie leaned back on the step and looked at her. "I thought you two weren't talking."

"We aren't. But we seem to be kissing."

"Was it good?"

"Bessie!" Joey blushed.

"Well?" Bessie needled, curious.

"Actually, it was…different."

"Different? In what way?"

"Well, before when we were dating, our kisses were nice."

"Nice? The seal of death with that word."

"No. I mean nice in a good way, Bess. They felt sweet and tender and there was something else there, but not quite all the way there. Like something would start but never get…"

"I know what you mean," her sister nodded, sipping her own coffee.

"But this time…" Joey shook her head. "I swear to you, Bessie, I thought my head would explode. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't make sense…I just about _melted_."

"It's called passion. Hadn't you felt that before at all? With Pacey?"

"Pacey was shivers. This was a Cat-5 hurricane."

"That's a huge difference. I can't help but ask, Jo, is it time we visit the clinic?"

"No!" Joey coughed on her coffee, embarrassed beyond words. "No," she repeated. "As Dawson so carefully pointed out – it didn't mean anything."

"Hmm…"

"And the worst part? I don't think we're any closer to getting back our friendship. If anything, we're further apart." She leaned her head on Bessie's shoulder as her sister wrapped her arm around her in comfort.

"Oh, Joey. It'll be all right. I promise…"

Joey nodded, but didn't believe.


	6. More Surprises

Trick stood on the dock and watched as Pacey gassed up his engine.

"I thought you said one day. It's been 5."

"This is it, I swear. I'm taking her on an overnight down to the Keys to see some dolphins and then dropping her off on the mainland. She'll be gone by New Year's." Pacey assured his boss. "You want to see the Tacktick? It's installed and working great."

"You're welcome, boyo. Gone by New Year's, hmm?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because she just hired on to the Murphy's as stewardess. They're off with guests to the Bahamas for the holiday."

"She… what?!" Pacey was dumfounded. He hopped onto the pier and scanned the water for the Murphy family's Horizon 105, '_Luck of the Irish_'.

"They pulled out over an hour ago," Trick informed Pacey.

"Damn," Pacey punched the air. "I didn't even hear they were looking for crew. Who else went?"

Trick listed off the name of the other hand the family had picked up for their jaunt.

"Not _that_ Stephen," he gritted his teeth.

Despite many of the members' glowing opinion of the guy, Pacey had pegged him as a bully within an hour of meeting.

"Damn," He swore again. In a brief moment of insanity, he tried to calculate if he could catch up to the yacht. He knew the _Luck_ usually cruised at more than 20 knots. If he was lucky and caught the wind, Pacey could average around 12.

He sighed, defeated.

"What's the deal with you two, anyway?" Trick indicated the two hammocks in the _True Love_.

"We're friends," Pacey grabbed two beers from the icebox and handed one over to Trick.

"Friends with benefits?" Trick popped the top on his beer and took a long swallow.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"I would say so."

"So can I."

"Hmm."

Pacey watched the horizon. Maybe hoping the _Luck_ would come back for some reason. But all he saw was deep blue sky, deep blue water, and a few puffy white clouds. "Damn," he repeated, softly. "Damn."

Then he went below and did something he hadn't done in months. He dug up his cell phone. Plugged it into the charger. And turned it on. _Just in case_.

* * *

"I can't go with you," Gretchen insisted, curled up on the couch in her apartment amidst papers and brochures.

"C'mon, the ski resort is public property. Just…book a room," he suggested.

"No can do," Gretchen said definitely. "I've got an interview that week, anyway."

"An interview?" Dawson pulled back, surprised. "For what?"

"An internship at _Cambridge_ magazine in Boston. Assistant lifestyles editor. They loved my application. They're actually thinking of paying me to go to concerts and restaurants and festivals. And even more amazing? I might be able to swing the job into internship credits for graduation."

"Uh, wow," Dawson's forehead wrinkled in thought. "When did this come up?"

"A couple of weeks ago," she admitted, digging through the stacks of paper and finding the letter. "What's that subext I hear in your voice?"

"I guess I'm surprised you didn't you tell me."

"I guess I didn't want to jinx things."

"Things?"

"Us. The interview. Name it."

He rubbed his neck in thought.

"C'mon, be psyched for me."

"I'm trying. I swear I am. It's just, we took months to get together. Now we're what? Separating?"

"Who said separating? It's Boston. We can play it by ear, see how it turns out."

"I just…"

"I know," she leaned over and kissed him. "We're all planning our futures, trying to figure out what we're gonna do with the rest of our lives. It's big stuff. We'll figure it out as it comes."

The sting of surprise still needling him, Dawson got up and grabbed their coats. "Then I guess we should make the most of tonight," he said with a forced smile. "Let's go celebrate the New Year in style."

* * *

Jack and Jen twirled on the dance floor, giggling up a storm. Joey sat at their table in the back of the club and sipped ginger ale.

"He ain't coming, honey," Drue announced, collapsing into one of the open chairs.

"Go away, Drue," she muttered.

"C'mon, you know you want me."

Joey stuck a finger in the general direction of her mouth and pretended to gag.

"Face it, babe. Your Prince Charming is off with another princess. It's New Year's Eve, do you really want to be alone?"

"If the alternative is _you_, Rumplestilskin, absolutely."

"You won't know until you try me."

"Not on your life," she grunted. Her cell phone began to vibrate and she pulled it from the bag. Shocked by the number, Joey headed to the door for some privacy without excusing herself

"Is it really you?" she asked.

"It's me," Pacey assured her, his deep voice resonating over a thousand miles. He heard the noise in the background. "Did I interrupt…where are you?"

"Some stupid party with Jen and Jack."

"Hmm."

The silence stretched between them across the distance.

"How are you?" Joey asked, at last.

"All right, I guess. Incredibly tan. Makes women swoon at the sight of me."

"I bet. I can hardly believe you made it down to Florida."

"You and me both. Took me over a month."

They fell quiet again.

"How are _you_? How's school?" He enquired, finally.

"Good. Good. I think I might have a shot at Worthington."

Pacey whistled in appreciation. "That's always been your dream."

"A possible dream. And even if I get in, it all depends on money. I sent out 6 applications, so we'll see what happens. What about you? I mean…high school?"

He coughed. "Actually, I just started looking into how to graduate, or at least get a G.E.D."

"I'm glad, Pace," she said softly. "Don't give up on yourself."

He nodded to himself as he sat on his deck, gazing into the night. "I'm looking up at Orion."

She glanced up from the deserted patio. "Me, too. Still battling Taurus, I see."

"Never give up, never surrender," Pacey teased.

"By Grabthar's hammer, we'll live to tell the tale."

They chuckled.

"Jo," Pacey eventually said, turning serious. "Andie was here…"

"Andie? But she's in Italy."

"Noooo," he exhaled. "But that's another story. She told me, Jo. That you left Dawson and came to ask me to stay. But I was already gone."

"That's sort of true," she admitted.

"What part isn't?"

"I didn't run to ask you to stay. I ran to ask you to take me with you."

Pacey winced. Squeezed his eyes shut against the wave of pain. "I wish…"

"Doesn't mean much now," she interrupted.

"It does, Jo."

"No, it doesn't."

"I was so crazy in love with you," he confessed.

"And I was, with you."

Everything else fell between them, unspoken.

"You still there?"

"I'm here," she leaned against the cold brick exterior of the building and looked up again. "I missed you by 5 minutes, Pace. But it didn't matter."

"Stop saying that," he ordered. "Why do you keep saying that? It _mattered_. It still does."

"Because, in the end, I think you were right, Pace. I think that even if we'd had sailed off into the sunset together, we would have come back to disaster."

"Dawson." It wasn't an accusation, just a statement of fact.

"I'm…" she inhaled and tried again. "It's unbearable living without him. To see him and not be able to just, you know, talk to him. I think I would do just about anything to make it right with us again."

"You understand that he shouldn't be treating you this way. That it is outrageous that he should punish you for…"

"And that," she cut him short, "is _exactly_ the debacle that would have happened. I know you don't agree. But we're none of us perfect. Doesn't stop us from who we love, Pace. Doesn't stop me from loving him. And I wonder sometimes, how we could have survived. As a couple. Against this primordial pull I have to him. You and I found each other at a time when I thought he didn't want me. And even then, we hid it from him. We knew. _We knew_."

"It broke my heart," he said simply.

"Mine, too," she echoed.

"You all right now?"

"No," she cried. "I want him back in my life."

"That's a familiar song these days," he told her, his own chest crushed by her words, her tone, her pain. "But for what it's worth, I don't doubt for a minute that you will work it out."

"Thanks," she steadied her emotions over a long pause. Looked up at the night sky again. "The star on the left, is it the big dog or the little one?"

"That bright star is Sirius," he answered. "Big dog, or Dog Star. Take your pick."

"Sirius…the one that weakened men and aroused women to insane passion?"

"Uh, yup. That's the star."

"Well, it reminds me of you. I'm glad to know you're all right."

"I'm glad to be all right. And worried for you."

"Don't be," she scoffed. "I'll be fine. I'll just…well, as you said, it will turn out. Sometime."

"Josephine Potter, I love you. Don't give up either, all right? The world has some surprises left for you. And Happy New Year."

Joey's hand trembled as she held the phone tightly to her ear. "Happy…" Then she realized he'd already hung up. Snapping the phone shut, she looked up again to the sky. Listened to the crowd inside countdown the last moments of the year. And said a small prayer.

Inside the club, Dawson swung Gretchen into a big kiss as the crowd screamed 'Happy New Year!'

She enthusiastically returned it before moving to hug everyone else at the table.

Outside the glass patio doors, he saw Joey. Tried not to stare as she looked up at the stars. Tried not to let Gretchen see him watching Joey. Tried not to react to Jen's sardonic eyebrow lift as he pretended not to see Joey.

And then groaned and took a long swallow off someone's drink.

"You want to dance?" Gretchen asked, happy with the music.

"Sure," he stood back up and followed her to the dance floor. And tried, _again_, to put Joey out of his mind.

The rain poured down the next few days like it was spraying out of some kind of celestial garden hose.

* * *

Trick called Pacey in the kitchen to let him know that the _Luck_ had returned. He immediately pulled off his apron.

"Clocking out, Chef!" he hollered to Angie, the head chef. She waved him off, but he was already gone.

He didn't stop to put on a raincoat, just jogged directly to the slip. As he passed Stephen, the two men gave each other a cold look.

It made Pacey all the more eager to get to her.

Andie stepped out, her bag in hand. Dark circles under her eyes. The rain hit her like a geyser, which was just perfect considering her mood from the past few days.

She saw him approach, and steeled herself for his anger, his outrage.

_But there was none_.

Pacey's eyes raked over her, trying to put his own concerns to rest. He pulled her bag strap over his own chest and then led her by the hand, jogging, towards one of the smallest bungalows at the back of the compound.

"Welcome home," he grinned, swiping the keycard and pushing open the door. "At least for tonight."

"What is this?" she stepped inside and dripped on the tile. A bed dominated the room, with a kitchenette and seating area to the side. "Won't you get into trouble? Aren't we only supposed to be on the boat or in the staff bunkhouses?"

"You doubt the master? Don't worry, it's all legal. I bartered Trick for it for the night. You wouldn't believe how many oysters I had to shuck, but it was worth it. After that trip, I figured you'd be dying for a bath and a long night's sleep in a real bed."

"How did you know?" Andie leaned against him gratefully, uncaring they were wet.

"Talk later. Bath now. You hungry?"

"Not starving," she took the push and headed to the luxurious main bathroom. After a moment, he knocked and she handed out her wet clothes. Then he stripped off his own, wrapping a towel low on his hips, and dropped the load into the small dryer tucked on top of a washer in one of the closets.

Pacey headed to the second bathroom for a quick shower. Then he rewrapped himself in the towel and headed back into the main room.

Hearing the water still filling her tub through the door, he began brewing up a fresh pot of water for tea.

Without warning she appeared, in the courtesy robe. "That tub will take about a week to fill, Pace. It could double as an Olympic pool in the next Games."

"Uh," he was suddenly aware he was wearing nothing more than a white towel. "If you want, there's a shower in the other bathroom." He turned away from her and puttered with making rolls.

But he could _feel_ her getting close.

"Don't," he begged.

"Don't?"

"Come any closer," he clarified. "I've been worried out of my mind the past 4 days, Andie. Stephen's not exactly a gentle blue smurf and you're not exactly experienced crewing private charters. They can go great, or they can grow pretty nasty. And from the look you had in your eyes…" he leaned forward over his arms and sighed. Still not turning around.

"I'm fine," she assured him gently. "Exhausted, but fine. If I never see Stephen again, well, yeah, that would be good. But nothing _happened_, Pace. And I think I made enough to order a v-berth mattress for the _True Love_."

"Who cares?!" he pounded his fist onto the counter. "I've been fine without one all along! The hammocks are good, Andie. It just wasn't worth you doing this. Nothing is."

"I'm not afraid of hard work," she contested.

"You have to go home, to Capeside."

"Turn around, Pacey," Andie asked quietly.

"You have to go home _tomorrow, _McPhee. Back to where you're protected. Safe."

"You know what? I'm getting sick and tired of people saying that to me," she announced. "I'm stronger than I look, Pace. I know my own mind. I may bend, but I promise you – I won't break."

He didn't answer.

"Turn around."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because this isn't what you really want. I'm not that guy, the one you came looking for. I'm sorry, but I'm not, Andie."

"I know you, Pacey."

"No," he argued. "You know who I _was_. Who I wanted to be. Back then, before the dozen or so women I've been with since. Before Joey. Before I learned what I'm really capable of."

She flinched. But then found her breath again. "I don't think you are still in love with Joey. I think that began to die the moment you sailed over the horizon. And I've spent 4 days with you in what is, and I'm being generous here, a telephone box. Yes, you've changed. You've grown up, Pacey. Into an amazing man."

"You don't know that."

"I do."

"You can't know that."

"I can. I'm not projecting, I'm not wishing. I am standing here, looking at you and saying that you are so much more than I could have imagined. And if you don't feel something for me, all right. Just tell me you still don't want me here. But do it to my _face_."

He turned.

Her fine hair was drying in ribbons on her shoulders. Her pale skin almost translucent. Her collarbones too prominent. Her….

She opened the robe and let it drop. Every _ounce_ of courage she had to do it.

Pacey knew he had no choices left. There was only one thing he could do.

He leaned in and picked her up and carried her to the bed.

"We'll talk more about this tomorrow," he made clear, falling with her into the covers.

"Absolutely," she agreed, opening her arms.

He pulled off his own towel and threw it across the room.

She laughed in delight.

Until he silenced her, with a kiss.


	7. Passion at Play

Gretchen sat behind the wheel of the idling car and turned to look at Dawson.

"I don't have to go," he said.

"It's a rite of passage, Dawson. My senior trip? Somebody got pregnant, somebody got arrested, and one girl's hair caught on fire. You have to go."

"I should stay home with you. Celebrate the job. Help you pack."

"We'll have a whole day when you get back. Just, go. Go," she repeated.

"It's only one night," he watched her profile.

"Mmm."

"But it feels like forever. Why does it feel like forever?"

"I don't know," she tried to smile. Failed.

The sun was barely up, but it still felt dark. Dawson leaned over and kissed Gretchen.

It tasted like goodbye.

"I hate leaving you," he whispered.

"I hate leaving you," she agreed. "But have fun, anyway."

Dawson nodded and pulled his duffel from the back seat before heading over to the bus.

The ride seemed to take a million hours. Watching out the window as ground got more and more covered with snow. As the road got higher and higher up the hill. The bare trees became pines, the earth turned to long stretches of rock.

Jack and Jen chattering behind him. And Joey saying nothing at all.

They pulled up at the lodge a few hours later. Mr. Kasden making pronouncements before heading in to check that their equipment would be ready.

Drue immediately pulled the bag of keys away from the kid that had been left in charge.

"OK, Jack, Jen… obviously no sexual complications there. Any room should do," he teased, tossing them a key. "Joey, Dawson… our intrepid class couple! Here's one for you. It's got a King. And…." He inspected a handful of keys, selecting one and dropping the rest back in the bag. "This one's mine. The rest of you? Good luck."

"Obnoxious is not a substitute for wit," Jack informed Drue, pocketing the key and helping Jen with her bags.

"We are not complaining this weekend!" Drue reminded him. "Just fun, fun, fun kiddies!"

Dawson looked down at the key in his hand and up at Joey.

"Don't worry about it," she scoffed. "I'll get one for myself."

The guy with the bag, however, was standing all alone in front of them. The vultures that were their classmates had picked the bag clean and left. "I didn't get one," he was muttering.

Dawson looked at him, and back at Joey. "Come on," he urged.

"Right there with ya," she agreed, pulling her bag behind him.

* * *

"Mmmmm," Pacey stretched in bed and then rolled onto his side. 

She slept peacefully. Her expression almost _happy_. Slowly, as if aware he was watching, her eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning," he smiled. Leaning in to drop a series of small kisses along her delectable collarbone.

"Good morning," she purred, extending her neck up to give him better access. Wrapping a smooth leg over his.

"I know what you're doing," he rubbed his chin whiskers along the sensitive skin on her shoulder. "You're seducing me, Mrs. Robinson."

"I'm only a few weeks older than you," she reminded him, dragging a finger over his arm. "Tell me this isn't better than the hammocks."

He looked around the v-berth, tucked into the bow of the _True Love_, and exhaled contentedly. The new mattress beneath them made a comfortable bed, with soft sheets and real pillows.

"Not worth what you sacrificed, though," he said seriously, propping himself up on an elbow.

"Ah, here it comes," she dropped her head back on the pillow. "The daily 'Go Home' speech. I was hoping to get lucky before you started in today."

"Who says you won't?" He slid the side of his hand from the tip of her chin, lower and lower, dragging the sheet down to her stomach.

Andie arched involuntarily. Her breath coming in short pants.

"How about today we skip the lecture? Go right to the part where I love you."

Andie went completely still.

"Uh, what did you say?" She asked, disbelieving.

"You have to make me some real promises," he turned her to face him with a finger. "That you won't take any more crazy field trips without me. That you'll stay close. That, especially, you'll go off to college, just like you planned."

She stared into his eyes. "I promise I will go to college, Pacey. I have my dreams, and they will come true."

He nodded.

"And I promise to talk things over with you, especially before contemplated excursions into international waters."

He nodded again.

"But you have to promise me some things, too," she played a hand on his chest, over his heart. "No more telling me to leave. No more telling me where I belong. I want to be a real part of your life," her voice broke with emotion. "For as long as we're together."

Pacey rolled over onto her, balanced on his elbows so he wouldn't crush her. The heat exploded through their bodies. Andie wrapped her arms around him, her breathing irregular again.

He looked down into her eyes, doing nothing and getting drunk off it. She gulped air and gazed back. "Promise me," she begged.

He moved slightly. She gasped.

"I promise," he submitted. Kissing her thoroughly.

"I love you, too," she said against his lips.

"I know," he grinned. "I know."

* * *

They stood in the doorway, staring at the bed. 

The massive, humongous, bed.

"A circus family could live on that thing," Dawson muttered, dropping their luggage on the sofa.

"With room left over," Joey agreed.

"Well, we've done it before. For years."

"Yeah. Long ago and far away."

Dawson sat down on the bed and growled with frustration. "I never said it was going to be easy," he sighed. "But could we try? I mean, we've got this whole trip."

"All right," she looked over at the firewood and Dawson took the hint and started a fire.

"OK. Start by telling me one thing that you do know to be true," he asked her.

"I know that I want you there. At the end of the day, when I get back home from school. Or when I wake up, even. After a shift at work, I want you there."

"Why?"

"I can't say," she watched the flame as it began to catch. "Isn't it enough to just know that I want you there?"

"I _am_ here. I want to find a way to talk about stuff that really matters."

"Like that kiss? What was that?"

He sat down beside her. "I don't know. It felt real. Then again, sometimes I think - we graduate in less than 4 months. What if this destiny stuff is a fantasy and the attraction that we feel for each other is just, fear of moving on, fear of growing up?"

"I'm terrified that we're gonna get those diplomas and years will go by and one day we are going to wake up, and we are going to be complete strangers to each other. The only thing that I know for sure, is that I don't want that to happen. Do you?"

"No," he admitted. Falling onto his back on the bed with a grunt.

"So what now?"

He patted the space beside him and she lay down. Next to, but not touching.

"We fix this," he said. "We figure it out."

* * *

Jen looked into the empty mini-bar bottle as though expecting it to spurt more gin. 

"Empty, doll," Jack teased her as he fumbled his way towards the bed.

"Who you calling doll?" She fished through the fridge for a new bottle,

"I hate me drunk. Totally. Once inebriated I just… I just get brooding and pensive. Very Rochester."

"Do I know him?"

"Do you _ever_ do the assigned reading? Ugh. I wish I could lighten up. Be a sexy drunk, like you. You are! You get brave and crazy."

"You're the braver one."

"Hell, no. I'm scared. I'm scared all the time."

"What are you scared of?"

"That I'm going to end up alone. That I'll never be quite somebody's everything. Mostly I'm scared that I'm never going to find a guy that I love as much as I love you."

"Oh…" Jen patted his cheek and kissed him lightly on the lips.

Jack pulled her close, and kissed her back. Deeply.

* * *

"Joey, you awake?" 

"Hmm," she pushed her hair out of her eyes and realized the room was completely dark. Joey sat up with a rush, disorientated.

"We fell asleep," He sat up, too, reaching out to touch her.

"What time is it?"

"After 11," she peered at the red numbers on the clock.

Dawson began laughing.

"What?"

"Well, it's a ski trip. And we forgot to go skiing."

"Mmm," she rubbed her face. "Are you hungry?"

"Starved."

"I think I saw some vending machines in the lodge."

"OK, just give me a second…"

* * *

"God, what are we doing?" 

"You don't know?"

"We can't do this."

"Says who?"

"Me. I'm sorry, Jack. You're drunk and lonely – and gay. And as good as this seems right now and it does seem really, really good… it won't when the feelings pass."

"How do you know the feelings will pass, Jen? You're not exactly the first woman that I…"

"Jack," she interrupted. "Could you ever fall in love with a woman? Have you ever? Because I get the idea that even if you're pretty omnivorous sexually, your passions are reserved for men."

"I'm passionate about you."

"I can't be 'Grace' to your 'Will', Jack. I can't spend my life waiting for you to fall in love with me. It's not fair to either of us."

Jack sighed. "What's wrong with Will and Grace?"

"Nothing, I'm just saying I'd rather be Karen."

Jack laughed, and put his arm over his eyes. "I'm dizzy."

"I'm gonna go get some ice and fix us a couple of tall glasses of water."

* * *

"OK," Pacey announced as he finished typing a sentence on Andie's laptop. He pushed the machine away and put his legs up on the deck chair opposite. "I'm enrolled in the correspondence high school course and signed up for the exams. Do you want me to take it off the Internet?"

"Did you email Mr. Kasden?" She asked from the galley as she mashed avocado into sour cream.

"Yes, dear," he teased. "And I even emailed my sister."

"Wow, very productive," she handed up a bowl of guacamole and a bag of chips. "Don't disconnect, I have to do some stuff to do, too."

He took a soda from her and moved over to give her room.

"We were going to head over to the Keys today and look at dolphins," he reminded her.

"Got a little distracted," she reminded him back. "Plus, I'm beginning to doubt that there ARE dolphins in the Keys."

Pacey chuckled. "There are. And they're beautiful." He gave along, satisfied sigh.

"You're really happy here, aren't you," she asked.

"I am. Look at that sunset. Have you ever seen anything like it?"

"No," she breathed, admiring the riot of colors in the sky.

"But I do think I'd be up for a different adventure if it came along."

"Like gunrunning to Cuba?"

"No," he bit into a chip and chewed happily. "Like, I don't know. I'm thinking about some classes at a cooking school."

"Cooking school?" Andie repeated, surprised.

"Don't look so shocked," he teased. "I mean, I could quite honestly spend the rest of my life here..."

"And yet, I'm not good enough for it."

"It was the other way around," he grabbed up her hand and kissed her wrist. "In many ways, this place is like a long, psychedelic trip. And there are some real sharks in the waters. So although it's become home in many ways - especially because of Trick, you know? I think…" he exhaled.

"What?" She encouraged.

"I think eventually I would want to build something more out of my life than living here and doing what needs doing. I don't know. I like cooking. I like hanging out with Angie, learning new ways make meals. It's fun. I go into work and the hours just fly by, unless I'm tackling potatoes by the ton, anyway."

"Wow," Andie lit up, from the inside, with excitement. Straddled his lap and kissed him.

"If cooking classes get you this hot, I'd hate to see what a reputable culinary institute would do to your libido," he joked.

"It's just so good to hear you finding some dreams."

"Yeah, well," he kissed her forehead. "I think they traveled in on your spirit, Andie."

"No, they are all yours," she disagreed.

"What?" he asked. "I know that look, what is it?"

She sought his eyes nervously. "It's just…"

"Enlighten me, woman," he urged.

"I'm accepted at 5 schools. I wonder…" she faltered, unable to speak her thoughts.

"There's no way a school that accepted you would accept me, Andie. Can you see Harvard sponsoring an 'Introduction to Breakfast Meats' symposium? Put it out of your mind. We agreed, when the time comes…"

"I know," she acknowledged hoarsely.

"I won't be the guy who held you back. You're destined for amazing things, great things, Andie. And it would _gut_ me if you missed out on any of it on my account."

"But what…" she took a deep breath. "What if one of the amazing things I'm supposed to be destined for – is you?"

Pacey grunted and moved her aside. Hopped up on the pier and began to walk away.

"You'll be back?" she asked.

He turned. "Of course. I'll always be back, Andie. I just need to… walk."

She nodded and watched him go.

* * *

As they walked back from the lodge, nibbling on snack food, they passed Drue and his latest girl practically having sex in the hot tub. 

"Ugh," Joey averted her eyes. "I think I may go blind."

"Hmm," Dawson bit into a pop tart.

"Hmm?"

"It looks like fun, actually."

Joey's head snapped, surprised. "You say this from experience?"

Dawson shrugged, and took another bite. "Not strictly speaking."

"Hmm," she echoed.

"You could just ask."

"Ask?"

"Yes, the thing you're not asking. You could ask."

Joey pondered as Dawson fitted the key to the door and let them in. "It's cold," she breathed.

"I'll restart the fire."

He stepped outside and brought a load of wood in from the back. Stacking several pieces before setting some paper to ignite it all.

"Still not asking?"

"Still not asking. I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"That the answer might, hypothetically, kill me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, until just this minute I never considered the possibility that it wouldn't be you and me. But we've been living separate lives for some time and now I'm considering. And, possibly, having a cardiac event."

Dawson stood in front of her and placed a hand on either shoulder. "No."

"No?" She breathed.

"No, the answer would not kill you, Jo."

"Whoo," she breathed. "I'm sorry to be so relieved. I am. I have no right…"

"I understand. There was this horrible moment, when you were standing on my lawn with Pacey, that I had this mental image…. Well, suffice to say it was like giving my brain an acid bath."

"Nothing like that happened."

"Yeah, I pretty much convinced myself of that later. But, you know, we're ready. Physically, emotionally. That we've both waited out of this sense of fate speaks volumes. In fact, I'm willing to bet we're two of the last virgins at Capeside High."

"Just the senior class," she equivocated.

"Let's take a poll when we get back."

"Let's not."

He laughed.

"So you're saying that our relative innocence –"

"Speak for yourself!"

"Is because of our faith in some shared destiny?"

Dawson shrugged. "What reason do you have for it?"

"Bad timing?"

"Really?"

She thought a long moment. "No. I think it's because we both believe, despite all evidence to the contrary, that we were meant to share our first time together. I do wonder, however, if that means we're going to end up 40 years old and dried up."

"Never."

"Don't be so sure."

"I'm drawing the line at 30. 30 and a day and you will wake up to me next to you and no excuses."

"A rose in your teeth?"

"Too cliché. Maybe a balloon-o-gram."

"Tied where, exactly?"

Dawson dropped his head back and laughed. "This trip, it's reminding me of what we're good at. What I've been missing."

"What's that?"

"We're touchstones. In the most essential definition of the word."

"Things have been changing so fast, Dawson. I have felt so un-anchored without you."

"I think I felt it less, but that doesn't mean it wasn't just as much a part of what's been happening with me. I'm just better at denial. Now I see it, and I just can't go back."

"Well, I already have more faith now than I did this morning."

"I never lost mine," he smiled at her.

"You're still an eternal optimist, Dawson."

"Joey…" He yawned.

"You can't still be tired after that nap."

"It's just getting warm in here."

She nodded. He looked in her eyes, and on impulse, pressed his lips to hers. Immediately, the same burst of sensation as he had when they'd kissed on the dock flared in him again.

"Gretchen…" she pulled back.

"…Got a job in Boston. She's packing up to move as we speak."

"Oh."

He leaned in and kissed her again. And she kissed him back.

"Joey," he whispered against her cheek. "Tell me to stop."

She reached up and undid the top button of his shirt.

"Joey," nestled in her neck. "Tell me the timing is wrong."

She undid the second button.

"Do you have…" she inquired.

He nodded. Reached up and began undoing her buttons as well. Soon, both shirts dropped to the ground.

He kissed her again. Wrapping his arm around her, and lowering her to the big bed.


	8. Say Goodbye

He stepped from the bus with his heart thudding in his ears and his duffel over his shoulder.

_What would he say to her? What would Gretchen react? How could he explain, that fate and infinity and pop tarts had conspired to make something amazing?_

The parking lot of the high school was strangely full for a Sunday.

He walked up and down the aisles, looking left and right.

Joey called to him when she reached her sister's truck, offering a ride. Dawson waved her off.

"You all right?" Bessie asked, glancing at Dawson and then back at Joey as buckled up.

"Fine," Joey responded automatically, and the pulled away.

Dawson watched them go and searched again. When he got to the end of the lot, he turned around and jogged back, his bag swinging.

"Dawson!" He spun to the sound.

Jack stood with Grams and Jen near the bus.

"Isn't that your dad?" He pointed towards a truck.

Dawson clapped his hand over chest and finally realized; _She wasn't there. She wasn't coming._

* * *

Jack sat in the back of Gram's car and tried not to look at Jen. It was impossible. 

The principal had called Gram and let her know of Jen's drinking the night before. And now Mrs. Ryan's anger and disapproval could be felt a mile away.

"What were you thinking, if anything?" she pursed her lips.

"I wasn't," Jen admitted. "I'm sorry, Grams. I really am."

"And YOU, Jack," Evelyn sighed. "Was a similar call made to your father?"

"No," he admitted. "Jen was the only one caught."

"I don't even know what to say to you both. I am so disappointed."

_No more than he was, in himself_, Jack thought with a sigh.

* * *

Dawson held the letter in his hands, staring at it. 

He'd hopped up the stairs, two at a time. Intending to drop his bag, grab his keys, and find Gretchen.

And there it had been, a white square in the middle of the bed.

He should feel relieved. She'd let him off the hook. Free pass.

Any other guy would be chasing Joey and going for seconds.

But Dawson knew what he had to do.

Spinning his keys on his finger, the letter in his other hand, he ran back down the stairs.

* * *

The summons came at the end of the lunch rush. 

Pacey glanced at Angie, wiping his mouth in thought. He tugged his apron off and tossed at the laundry basket, turning towards the backstairs that led up to the offices.

"I'd change, if I were you," she recommended.

"Really?"

She raised an eyebrow at his cooking whites, dirty from a long shift.

He nodded and began jogging outside towards his boat. Which was strangely quiet.

"Andie?" he called, ducking belowdecks and looking around.

"Andie?!"

Pacey glanced at the tiny wipe-off board she'd stuck for them to write notes to each other. It was wiped clean.

Slowly, he realized that her bag was missing. Her clothes were gone from the cubbies. Her toothbrush was no longer handing next to his.

_Oh, God..._

_Where is she?_

* * *

Joey was standing by the car. 

"Oh, hey," Dawson gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I thought we said maybe tonight?"

"I was impatient. And maybe a little confused. You acted strange in the parking lot when we got back."

"Yeah. Uh, I know we have a lot to talk about, and a lot to…" he looked at his car and shook his head. "But there's just one errand I kinda need to run first."

"I'll come with you," she offered.

"Uh, no," Dawson laid a hand on her arm. "I sort have to do this one alone, Jo."

"What is it," she searched his face. "What's wrong, Dawson?"

He looked down at the letter in his hand, and then carefully tucked it in his back pocket. "Just an errand, Joey. It's not about us. It's nothing to…"

"That was Gretchen's handwriting, wasn't it?"

"Joey…"

"What's going on, Dawson? It _is_ over between you, right?"

"Yes."

"And it was, last night, right?"

Dawson couldn't bring himself to lie. "It is now, Jo. I'm all yours. Completely dedicated to this thing that's happening between us."

"This thing…?" Joey's anxiety suddenly exploded in the back of her mind. "But last night, she was still your girlfriend?"

"She was moving away today, I told you that."

"Moving away, yes. But you also said you were broken up!"

"I never said those words."

"So it's a _technicality_?!"

"Things were really undefined, Jo. But the moment something happened with us, I broke it off with her."

"How?! In your mind?"

"The first thing this morning, I called her. I left her a message. I mean, why did you think I was outside in the first place?"

"I thought you went out for breakfast! Or to contemplate this major, life-affirming event that had happened between us! Not that you went out to call your girlfriend and break up!"

"Well, would you rather I hadn't?"

"No! I would rather you weren't dating Gretchen when you and I had sex for the first time!"

"Joey, I'm sorry if this ruins the fantasy, but it was a matter of hours…"

"God, when did you get so insulting? You should've told me! Before!"

"Joey!" Dawson caught her eyes. "Stop! Just STOP! You're blowing this way out of proportion!"

She threw her arms up in disgust and walked away through the snow back towards her house.

For a long minute, Dawson was stunned. Then he slipped behind the wheel of the car.

* * *

Pacey reluctantly arrived in full uniform. He wanted to be hunting for Andie, but he couldn't ignore the order to appear. 

The office door was open, a plush room with a bay window overlooking the water.

Then he noticed that Andie was one of the people sitting around the conference table.

"Oh," he glowed with relief. "There you are, you have no idea..." He began walking towards her when a voice reminded him they were not alone.

"I'll get right to the point, Mr. Witter," The Commodore, head of the Club's Board, intoned. "This yacht club is not a harbor for teenaged runaways."

"Uh…" Pacey looked around with disbelief. Scanned the faces and recognized Trick and Andie's father. "I'm not sure I understand. What's going on here?"

"Her father came to me this morning, looking for his lost daughter. He told me she was supposed to be in Italy with her family. That he only knew where to look for her by way of your family, Mr. Witter…" The Commodore gave Pacey a stern look.

Pacey looked at the top of Andie's head, absolutely bowled over. "Sir, I've seen her on the phone with her brother and her aunt, even exchanged a word or two with them myself. And if I may say so - she's over 18, a high school graduate, and an adult. We've done nothing wrong, sir."

"There's wrong, and then there's _wrong_, Mr. Witter. And I'm sure at the very least, you know the rules about staff guests."

"And we abided by them, sir. She rarely left the boat."

The Commodore took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "The 48-hour rule, Mr. Witter."

Pacey felt his shoulders droop in surrender. He was caught.

"Miss McPhee here has been, I have it on good authority, on your boat for well over 48 hours."

He glanced over at Andie, who didn't say a word in his defense. Or her own. _What the hell? Say something!_

"This seems to be an internal matter, now," Joseph McPhee announced, standing. "Andie, let's go."

She stood slowly, meeting Pacey's urgent gaze.

"Andie?" he asked, tentatively lifting a hand.

"I'm sorry, Pace," she spoked for the first time.

"You don't have to go," he said, trapping her eyes with his stare.

"Do you want me stay with you?"

Pacey looked at Trick, the Commodore, and then back at Andie. "I want you to be happy, Andie," he finally responded.

She nodded, slowly. And then followed her father out the door.


	9. Missing You

The adrenaline raced through his veins as the wind tipped them like a cup on their side, heeling so hard that he was counterbalancing by leaning off the edge with his head practically under water.

_Damn, it was a magnificent day_. _Except for…_

Pacey tried to throw off his thoughts of Andie.

Was just about as successful at it as he'd been since she'd left.

_Which was to say, not at all._

The weather was just shy of 80 degrees, a few puffy clouds in the sky, and a warm sturdy breeze to push them along. If only she was there, it would have met the definition of perfect.

Hanging on to the tiller, Ed was beaming happily.

"Worth ditching school for?" Pacey called, loosing the line and bringing them back down.

"Abso-freaking-lutely!"

Across the water, 6 yachts were jockeying for position as they waited for the signal to start the Spinnaker 3 class race. Pacey exhaled, enjoying the sight.

"Hey," Ed asked. "Why aren't you on one of those, man? Didn't you crew last year?"

"A couple of times…" Pacey agreed as adjusted the draft by pulling the line in again. He checked his watch for the time and was overcome by a moment of nostalgia. Andie had given it to him on Christmas night, the first they'd spent on the _True Love_ together.

_"Turns out? Italy is really near Switzerland where they make these," Andie had told him with a grin. "This is the America's Cup version. I saw it and thought of you…"_

_Andie_.

_Damn this was even worse than those first days at sea. When everywhere he'd went, he'd been consumed by Joey and what should have been. Worse because Andie's ghost had a legitimate claim. It lingered in all the ways that had become familiar over 6 weeks. Her perfume still clung to her pillow. He slept in the bed they'd installed together. Used the toothpaste she'd brought home from the store. A couple of cans of her favorite soda were even in the ice box, as though she'd be back any minute..._

_**Stop it!** _He ordered himself in frustration.

Pacey felt the salty breeze chap his skin and turned back to Ed. "We got about 40 minutes before we have to clock in. Bring us about."

"Lee-oh!" Ed shouted with a huge smile as he pushed the tiller hard.

Pacey ducked with an indulgent chuckle. Then he took control as they got closer to the island, turning into the wind and shooting the boat until Ed called out that he'd hooked Pacey's temporary mooring.

They dropped the sails and Ed helped with the rigging. "I've _got_ to get me one of these," he announced happily.

"Well, I got to get me one of _those_," Pacey rejoined, indicating the yachts that were speeding through the open water.

"No lie," his buddy agreed. They transferred over to the dinghy and made their way to land. "I gotta ask," Ed peered at him. "It's the Valentine's Day Regatta, we're about to go cook like a bazillion lobsters, big band setting up to play all kinds of music….where's your lady, dude?"

He didn't want to say it out loud, but there was no way around it. "She went home."

"Huh," Ed nodded.

"What?" Pacey asked.

"It's just, that's what she called your boat."

Pacey grimaced and sucked in a lungful of air. Glad that Ed was turned the other way and couldn't see.

* * *

Dawson slid into the car next to his father. 

"How was the flight, son?"

"Long," he rubbed the back of his neck. "Has...uh, did anyone call for me?"

"Same as everyday when you've asked," Mitch teased. "No. Hey, I was thinking of taking you out for lunch. Celebrate your visit to USC. Get some man-time in, maybe a steak."

Dawson laughed. "Mom's still making you eat what she eats on that pregnancy diet?"

"I can't take it anymore," his father groaned. "One more wheat-grass smoothie and I may sprout moss."

"Wish I could help you, Dad. But I have to..."

"Make up with Joey?"

Dawson glanced at his father in surprise.

"I'm old, not stupid," Mitch reminded him.

"I'll try to remember that."

* * *

Andie sat in the window seat and watched the snow. 

"Knock knock," her brother called, cautiously stepping into the room.

She didn't turn.

"C'mon, Andie. You're beginning to scare me. You've been back over a week and it's like night of the living dead in here."

"I'm sorry, Jackers. I've just had a lot to think about."

He sat bside her and exhaled. "I know what Dad did was pretty insane. And totally beyond acceptable. But as the last person on Earth who would _ever_ be caught defending our father, you did give us all quite a scare just last fall. And the look on his face when he called and found out you weren't still in Italy…it was beyond angry. It was real anxiety."

"I should have told him, but this was exactly what I was afraid of."

Jack didn't say anything, just hugged his sister.

"It was _awful_, Jack," she leaned her head on his shoulder. "He just marched in like Sherman advancing on the South. Probably got Pacey fired. He didn't even stop and ask me if I was happy, or where I wanted to be. Just dragged me back here."

"So you _were_ happy there?"

"I was, actually. Blissfully so. You know, last fall seems so long ago. Something's happened inside me since then. I can't explain it but by the time I landed in Italy it was like, everything else fell away, you know? And with Pacey, on the boat…"

He leaned back and searched her eyes. "Something _has_ changed."

They fell quiet.

"So, I guess this means you're going back?"

"I wish. But Pacey was crystal clear from the start – it was just an idyll."

"I'm sorry, Andie."

"Me, too," she confessed, her voice hoarse with pain. "You know, Pacey's changed, too. You'd hardly know him, Jack. Remember Econ. Class? When we all got fake-married and had to come up with a budget? And he sacrificed our fake-kids for a Viper?"

"So now he'd sacrifice them for, what, a Range Rover?"

"No. He's grown up, Jack. And not just because he works and pays the insurance on his boat and keeps up the maintenance and budgets."

"Hmm."

"It's more than that. It's inside. He takes care of himself and he's at_ peace_, Jack. In a way I've never seen in him. Especially not when he was dependent on his family."

"Andie, I'm glad for Pacey, don't get me wrong. But it's you I'm proud of here," he cocked his head and looked at her. "As crazy as it may seem to anyone else, I really admire you for going after what you wanted. That was so huge for you, in a way I don't think Dad understands."

She blushed. "Chasing Pacey isn't exactly up there as a _Survivor_-level challenge, Jack," she told him.

He stood and she followed suit. They talked as they walked down to the front door and pulled on their coats.

"It would have been for me. I'm terrified of ending up alone. But I'm not sure even that would get me on a plane like you did."

He tossed a snowball at her as she stepped outside. She quickly retaliated.

"Oh, Miami _so_ melted your aim!"

She laughed, helping him wipe the snow off the car. "You know, Pacey once told me that rich people end up in Florida and Oh. My. God. He was _so_ right. You should have seen the yachts, the liquor, the last-minute cruises to whatever was fabulous that week. It's actually nice to be in the cold for a little bit."

Jack's eyes narrowed at the last part of her sentence.

She caught his look, her expression unreadable.

With a resigned grin, he tossed her the keys.

"You're letting me drive?"

"You said it was a new you, right?"

"Yeah, but Jack…I'm not sure the new me is a better driver than the old one."

"Oh, right." He held out his hands and caught the keys as she threw them back.

"Besides, where are we going?"

"Potter's."

* * *

Joey relaxed into Jack's embrace. 

"What's going on?" He asked, to figure out her mood.

"Dawson," Jen mouthed from inside the B&B where she'd already made herself comfortable.

"What?" he asked at normal volume.

"Hey Sergeant Friday, did you skip reading lips day at the special spy school?" She threw her arms up.

"This isn't _General Hospital_, guys," Joey sighed and plopped back down on the couch by the fire.

"What's happened?" Andie asked, unwinding her scarf.

"Hey! You've come out of the house!" Jen cheered. "So, tell me… did you see your shadow? Will there be another 6 weeks of winter?"

Jack dropped a kiss on her head. "Play nice," he warned.

"Sorry to make you guys come here," Joey said softly, wrapping her arms around her knees. "I didn't expect you keep me on the committee, to be honest."

"Prom," Jack explained to Andie. "Everyone drank the Kool-Aid last month and put us in charge."

"And Dawson," Jen added. "I think they expect him to pull off another miracle."

"Where _is_ Dawson?" Jack asked.

"How would I know?" Joey retorted bitterly. "I haven't seen him since we got back from the ski trip."

Jen gave the '_I told you so'_ look to Jack.

"When does he get back from his tour of USC?" he asked.

"I think he _is_ back," Jen shrugged. "But I haven't heard from him, either."

They all feel silent.

And then jumped 10 feet when the doorbell rang.

Joey rubbed her cheeks and pulled aside the curtains on the window to see who it was.

"Whoa," she breathed.

"Whoa," Jack chimed in, looking from behind her.

Jen and Andie jogged across the room to peek. On the front lawn, Dawson and Pacey stood side by side, flowers in hand.

"Whoa," Andie's hand went to her chest in shock.

"Holy _Shit_!"


	10. 2 Gentlemen of Capeside

_A/N: Thank y'all for such wonderful, wonderful feedback. For some reason my Mac & Firefox can't login/upload chapters so publishing these last 2 has been an interesting workaround..._

* * *

Joey turned from the window and stood up off the couch, her heart jumping in her chest. 

_Dawson and Pacey? Were they really here? Together? _The why and how of it shocked her.

Andie stood staring back at her. As though her whole world was spinning with Joey as its axis.

_Pacey? Was he really here? For Joey? _"It _is_ them?" Andie asked, needing to be sure. "Dawson and…Pacey?"

Joey turned, her expression a match for Andie's, waiting for the answer.

"It _was_," Jen announced, peeking back out from behind the curtain.

"What?" Joey raced back to the glass, but Jen was right. They were gone.

"Wait. Over there. Oh, this _can't_ be good," Jack tapped Joey's shoulder and pointed to the right.

On the edge of property, the two were face to face.

Joey raced to the door and pulled it open. On the steps there were two bouquets.

Behind her, Andie grabbed her coat and scarf, and Jack's keys, and headed out the back.

* * *

"Dawson, it's been a …" 

"This is preposterous," Dawson interrupted, dragging his hand through his hair. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"10 years as your faithful sidekick and that's all you got to say to me?"

"No, after the greatest betrayal of my life, that's all I got to say to you. You know, I find it absolutely fascinating that the moment something finally begins to happen for Joey and me - you suddenly abandon your great Hornblower delusions and pop back up in Capeside. You shouldn't have bothered. Go back where you came from."

"It's still a free country, Dawson. You don't dictate who I visit. Or what she wants."

"How would you know what she wants? You don't even know her anymore. You never did! It was all a game to you, wasn't it?"

"You know it wasn't. And you and I each played our part in what happened last summer. If only you could have shown just an ounce of friendship for Joey when she and I fell in…"

"Don't you dare say it!" Dawson shouted. "Love? Is that what you call it when you run out on someone? You destroyed that woman much deeper and much more effectively than anyone else ever has and considering the life Joey's had – that's really saying something! If that's love, I think I speak for us all when I say – please, show us your hate."

"So your version of love is to punish her and force her to choose? Wow, you're right – that is _so_ much more superior."

"Oh, come on!" Dawson tossed back, his jaw twitching in anger. "That entire scenario was your doing, Pacey. You're the one who put us in competition and forced her to pick!"

"Now _you're_ rewriting history, Dawson!"

"I remember when my best friend turned his back on me, on her, on everyone."

"Spare me the speech. You talk about hurting her," Pacey indicated where Joey stood on the steps of the B&B, watching them. "All she ever wanted since this whole thing began is for you and I to make peace…"

"Except you were gone. And I was left watching her isolate from everyone…"

"From _you_, you mean?"

"Oh, hell…" Dawson muttered, looking a Pacey's smug expression. In a haze of fury and confusion, he couldn't help what happened next. With Pacey's challenge to punch him from the previous spring ringing in his ears, Dawson felt his arm pull back and his fist fly like an arrow at Pacey's smug face.

It stung but in a way that felt _good_ when his fingers slammed into Pacey's chin, knocking him backwards, arms pin-wheeling, until he swung back onto his balance. Pacey quickly recovered though and twisted back his shoulder and returned the favor, crashing his fist into Dawson's cheek.

Dawson landed on the ground, rubbing his face for a moment before launching himself at Pacey's legs. Then they were rolling, punching. Hitting from both arms. Ripping into each other with a year's worth of fury and all the violence their bare hands could inflict.

Joey ran across the yard, shouting for them to cease and desist.

Jack and Jen followed, pulling on their coats as they jogged.

Joey launched herself onto Dawson's chest, pushing him back with both hands. "Stop! STOP!"

Pacey rolled over to his side. Watching the blood drip from his lip into the snow. Panted as he tried to catch his breath. Starting to stand.

"You!" Dawson roared.

Pacey lifted a hand in surrender, and stayed down.

"Enough! It's not worth it! Nothing is worth this!" Joey cried, giving them both a look of pure frustration.

Jack reached a hand to Pacey.

"Got it out of your system, or do we need to let this go another round?" Jen asked, turning to help Joey off Dawson and then reaching to assist Dawson in turn.

"We're done," Dawson announced.

"You can say that again," Pacey agreed, marching off towards his car.

Joey looked at Dawson and shook her head with an expression of utter disappointment. Then she chased after Pacey.

"Jo-!" Dawson called, pushing past Jen.

Jack moved to block him, hands up. "Let her go, man."

Dawson watched her, frustration detonating on his face. Jen saw it and pulled him by the hand towards the B&B. "We need to get you cleaned up," she insisted, tugging.

With a grunt, Dawson let her lead him away.

* * *

"Pacey!" she shouted, trotting behind him and catching up as he reached the Wagoneer. 

"Never mind, Jo," Pacey said, pulling the keys from his pocket.

"Never mind? What exactly? That show of fisticuffs you just put on? The fact that you appear out of nowhere, 8 months later, without warning? What? What exactly should I '_never mind'_, Pace?"

"God!" He swore turning to face her. "You're right. I'm sorry, Joey. I am. This wasn't planned…"

"You had a plan?"

"Half of one, anyway. Maybe it was a half of a half, not thinking so clearly at the moment," he conceded, touching his face and wincing as his fingers found bruises.

"You should let me get you some ice for that lip, at least."

Pacey shook his head. Reached down to the ground and gathered up some snow, holding it against his lip.

"Tell me about this plan," She asked simply.

"What happened after I left, Jo?" he demanded.

She exhaled in a gust, rubbing her arms for warmth. "Nothing. Life. We talked about this on New Year's."

Pacey sighed and used his free hand to pull off his coat, wrapping it around her shoulders. "No, we clearly didn't."

"Thanks," she said, tucking her arms into the warmth. "What is this about, Pace? What did he say to you?"

"Tell me, Joey. What happened?"

"It was the same as before."

He lifted his brows in disbelief.

"It wasn't sunshine and gumdrops," she allowed. "I worked, took some summer school classes…"

His eyes shot up in surprise.

"Not everything's remedial, Pace," she teased.

"I shouldn't have left," he muttered.

"You had to go, I understood that, Pacey. And if Dawson doesn't, then it's just because he's had to grapple with your ghost."

"You finally believed in me for a second and it really came around to bit you in the ass, huh, Jo?"

"No," she insisted. Joey took a step towards Pacey and cupped his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "Your whole life, you've lived expecting the worst."

"It cuts out a lot of disappointment," he observed, staring into her large eyes.

"Yes, I understood why you left. It hurt, but I was glad for you. She proved seaworthy after all, didn't she?"

"The boat did," he assented. "But we…"

"We were a dream, Pacey. A beautiful dream."

"Not to me," he said hoarsely, reaching up to cup her face back. Leaning his forehead against hers. "I didn't realize. I was so damned selfish. All this time, I thought you'd picked…"

"I picked _me_," Joey interjected. "Whatever he said, he said out of pain. He's missed you. We all have."

"We're gonna have to agree to disagree there, Jo." Pacey kissed the skin at her hairline and stepped back. "Because this lip is telling me that Dawson Leery missed me like a paper cut, maybe with a quart of lemon juice poured on it."

She dropped her hands and shook her head.

"You and I…" he gave her a poignant look. "We've had a very confusing run of things, haven't we?"

"That's one way to put it…"

"How do I make this right, Joey? Just tell me, and I'll do it."

She just stared at him. "You know what I want, Pace."

He realized what she meant and rolled his eyes. "No. Not that. _Please_. It almost killed me last time, and for what?"

Joey lifted an eyebrow.

Pacey exhaled in a gust, and then winced and touched his lip. "Can I at least wait until the wounds heal from this latest encounter before attempting another hopeless reconciliation?"

"Thank you," she dimpled in satisfaction. "It's all I ever wanted since this started. For you two to make peace."

_That certainly was true._

"So, tell me about this plan," she demanded, leaning against his truck.

"First, I need to know something, all right?"

She nodded.

"If I told you that I came back for you. Begged you to forgive me and come back to me. Promised to do anything to make it up to you…"

"Oh," Joey straightened in surprise. "Oh, Pacey…"

He searched her expression intently. His eyes sweeping across Joey's face, taking in everything.

"You wouldn't want me, would you?" Pacey guessed.

"Pace-" She stared back at him blankly, completely at a loss for what to say.

"So you haven't been waiting for me to come home? For us to be together?"

"Is that what he said?" She surmised.

"No. Not really. Just…"

"I can't believe it," she bit out, trying to cap her emotions before they spilled over.

"Oh, God," Pacey breathed, taking a step closer to her. "You're back in love with him, aren't you?"

She didn't respond.

"After everything he does, and you…" She winced and Pacey stiffened in surprise. "Joey, did you two-"

"Don't ask," she held up a hand.

"Right. None of my business."

"It isn't."

"Plus, I can't keep my promise to you if I kill him."

"Pacey…" she groaned. "Was this your plan? To torture me?"

"No."

"You really came back for me?"

"I should have," he rubbed a sore spot on his cheek.

"Then…?"

"I came to your house to see you. To make amends. To tell you…"

"You're in love?"

His eyes snapped to hers in surprise. "You can no more hide it from me than I could from you," she gave him a rueful smile.

"With Andie," he confirmed.

"Well, uh," she cleared her throat. "You don't have to explain to me the power of first loves."

"Kryptonite," he concurred. "You're surprised?"

"I shouldn't be, I knew her feelings for you never died."

"But there was a long time, when I had tucked all that into a box," he nodded. "Then she walked back into my life and it all came back, and stronger than ever."

"I understand," Joey breathed.

"I am completely myself with her, and yet the best possible version of that self. Of course, the problem is that as rough and unworthy as I am – I seem to only love women who are so beyond my stratosphere as to be heavenly. But no one else will do."

"You're not unworthy," Joey refuted, watching the wind in the pine trees.

"Thanks."

She nodded.

"I love her, Jo. Madly, utterly, permanently. I had to come here and tell you. I felt I owed you that. Because if nothing else, you should know how amazing you are. How much I wanted… well, how hard it was to pull the line free that day and sail away from you."

"If it was anything near as hard as it was to watch you go, then I understand."

"We had some moments, Jo. And they mean more to me…" He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. "I'm so sorry, Jo," he added.

"Me, too," she smiled a little sadly. "No regrets."

"No regrets. This is gonna sound corny, Jo, but…"

"You have my blessing, Pacey."

He breathed in relief.

"I want you to be happy. To recognize all the love in your life."

"I want the same for you," he returned. "Even if it's with…" he waved his hand over his forehead and gave her a goofy look. "Don't let him make you miserable."

"I won't. And remember your promise."

The seconds passed with the plaintive cry of a mourning dove, and then Pacey said. "I think this is the part where I go and get the girl."

Joey looked around the B&B's parking lot, her lips pursing in thought.

"What?" He asked.

"Well, Andie was here, Pacey. Before, anyway."

"What?" he yelped, looking over at the house.

"But I haven't seen her since you and Dawson started your WWF match. And Jack's car is gone."

"Shit," he muttered.

"Go," She handed him his coat back.

Pacey kissed her cheek, jumped into the Wagoneer and drove away.

Once he was out of sight, Joey turned back to the B&B. Gathered up the wilting flowers off the doorstep. And went inside the door.

* * *

Joey pushed through the door. She looked at Dawson, who cradled a bag of peas against his face. 

He looked back, his face dark with pain and anger. The long minutes she'd spent with Pacey had stretched his patience beyond human limits.

"Well, meeting adjourned, I think," Jack announced, tugging on Jen's arm.

"Oh, no _way_. I gotta see the second act."

"Get lost, Jen," Dawson ordered. "_Please_."

Jack pulled her off the couch.

As Joey entered the room as the two left, waving in passing.

Dawson glanced at the flowers she held and turned away.

"I don't want to hear about him," he warned.

"You're going to. What were you thinking, Dawson? Fighting in the yard? Telling him I was still in love with him?!"

"I didn't!"

Joey planted her hands on her hips and stared at him.

"He left you, Joey. He left you on that dock. You threw us away for _nothing_! And then put up a wall that no one could get over…"

"So _that's_ what this is all about? STILL? Dawson, we got problems right here and now without borrowing baggage from the past!"

"You mean about Gretchen?"

"About _you_. About what _you_ did, Dawson. About you being Gretchen's boyfriend when we..."

"I admit, the timing wasn't great. But Joey, you and I both know if either one of us had stopped and thought for even a second that night, then what we did never would have happened, and I for one am not sorry that it did. Are you?"

"That's not the point!"

"That's exactly the point! I mean, forgive me for pointing it out but how you feel about our first time is a pretty critical indicator for the rest of our relationship."

"Dawson, you had a girlfriend! How is that not a big deal?"

"Do you truly believe that some perfect timing was _ever_ gonna happen for us? Or have you failed to notice the big mark on my face from Pacey's fist?"

"What does that have to do…?"

"It meant _everything_ to me Joey. My first time and yours. And the beginning of what I hope is a whole new chapter for us. If we'd actually waited for this storybook moment, then I can pretty much guarantee you that it never would have happened. I want us to be together. And I am willing to cut through anything to get there. Don't you understand?"

"Including Gretchen's trust, it seems."

"Dammit, no! You're missing the point. I am _in love_ with you. And I was when we were making love."

"So Gretchen was just this colossal time suck while you punished me for Pacey?"

"Why are you being so childish? Why can't you just admit that you wanted what happened as much as I did?"

"I wanted you," she admitted. "But not under those circumstances. Do you really think I could be happy knowing it was the cause of someone else's pain?"

"A scruple you didn't seem to have when it was you and Pacey betraying me!"

"God! So two wrongs make a right? Is that your argument?"

"No! Why do you keep twisting this around? The reason I left that day was to see Gretchen and apologize. To beg for forgiveness, if that's what it took. Because I get it, I _do_. And I am standing here, right now, telling you that you are the only woman in my life and the only woman I want in my life. That night was _real_. More real and more amazing than any juvenile fantasy."

"I guess I'm a child then. Because I want the fantasy. I want more than anything for us to be together. But not like this. Not with innocent bystanders, and _lies,_ and screaming and old grudges that we can't seem to get past!"

They both fell silent, breathing loudly.

"Guys?" Bessie stepped into the B&B holding groceries.

"Oh," Joey jumped. "Hey, I didn't realize…"

"It's OK," Bessie held up a hand. "But I just couldn't stand out there any longer. I have another load and then I need to put these away, so if you want privacy…" She indicated the door behind her, to Joey's room.

"Actually, I think we're done, Bess. Thanks."

Her sister gave them both a tight smile and headed back out to the truck.

"Done." Dawson reiterated softly.

"I'm sorry," Joey's eyes were dry, but her chest was painfully tight. "But this feels all wrong."

"Don't do this, Jo."

"_We're_ doing this, Dawson."

He exhaled in a hiss, and then gave up. Zipping the coat he'd never taken off, and quietly walking out the door.


	11. Pacey Finds Andie

_She should be here._

The late afternoon dusk had brought a chill wind, especially down by the water. Pacey walked the wharf; sure in his heart that this is where she'd be.

_Especially since he'd already tried her house, the remains of the old Ice House, the movie theater, and the high school._

Reaching the end of pier, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned back, discouraged.

And then she turned the corner, a cup of coffee in her hand.

_Is that her?_ He peered, trying to be sure it was Andie, his step quickening.

The last ray of sun caught her hair in the breeze, and he _knew_.

Running flat out with a thousand words on his tongue.

She stopped still when she saw him. Just stared as he ran to her. Stared with her heart pounding in her chest and her blood rushing in her ears. The world slowed down to just him, just the shrinking space between them.

"Andie," he panted out as he reached her. "I looked everywhere…"

"You know the movie_When Harry Met Sally_?"

"Uh," Pacey fumbled, reaching his hand to her arm in confusion.

"Harry runs through the streets and finds Sally and says that when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible?"

"Uh?" He exhaled.

"That's the look you just had on your face," she told him. "So my only question, Pacey? Was it for Joey or-"

"You!" He interrupted, stepping close. "You," he repeated, tugging her close with one hand on her waist and the other in her hair. "You." He said on her lips, before crushing them with his own.

The cup dropped from her hand as she grabbed him back tightly, her eyes screwed tight. Electricity poured through her body from every place they touched, through their coats and jeans. He held her closer and closer, his own mind exploding with sensation. Until he had had to wrench her away before he lost all control.

Their heads leaned towards each other as they panted, trying to catch their breath. Their eyes were still shut against the outside world – both of them, then slowly blinking, seeing each other. Focusing on the faint stubble on his chin, the ivory skin of her cheek.

"Hi," he said, finally.

"Hi," she half-laughed and half-cried. "What took you so long?"

"Oh, Andie," he chuckled in dizzy relief.

"When I saw you at Joey's…"

He shook his head. "I needed to make some amends."

"Yes, you did," she agreed baldly, tugging at the front of his jacket in disbelief he was really there – for her.

"Come home," he begged, pressing his face into the top of her hair.

"Yes, please," she answered, unable to stop her happy tears from falling.

He wiped them away, his own eyes shining. They shared a long private look and then, taking her hand, Pacey led her to the car.


	12. Months Between

_A/N: Sorry, Firefox Mac No Uploads_

_In any event, in my first draft this alternate Season 4 ended everything just about here - leaving Dawson and Joey up in the air. However, comments have nudged me to rewrite this chapter and add a new, last one. There is a Doug/Jack sighting for someone :) See how much I love comments, and how they get me back writing more:D  
_

_This is a chapter of vignettes showing the 3 months between mid-February and late May (Prom). Mostly of how Dawson tried to win Joey back, and how Pacey and Andie began building forever..._

* * *

Dawson raced down the hallway of the hospital until he saw his father. 

"What happened?" he demanded, almost skidding to a stop.

"She started having contractions…"

"But it's way too early!" Dawson panicked.

"We know," Mitch put an arm around his son.

From inside the room, they heard Gale moan loudly and moved quickly to her side.

"Well," the nurse was saying, watching a machine.

"Well, what?" Mitch demanded.

"One moment," she told them as exited.

"Argh!" Mitch burst.

"Honey? Could you see if there's a vending machine? I think your father needs a water," Gale asked her son through clenched teeth.

Dawson nodded and left the room, a little frightened by the expression on his parents' faces.

He stopped short at the nurses' station. "Jen?"

"Some guy had like an attack while on the phone with Grams," she explained. "Mr. Brooks?"

Dawson shrugged, the name familiar but not ringing any specific bells.

"What about you?"

"We're trying to figure out what's going on with my mom and the baby."

Then he saw the doctor follow a nurse back into his mom's room, closing the door after them.

"Uh," Dawson dragged a hand down his cheek. "That's bad, right?"

"Don't assume anything," she advised, tugging his hand to follow him as they wandered the hospital corridors.

"Water. I'm supposed to be getting a bottle of water."

"All right. Let's walk. Let's find. Let's talk. Tell me about Joey."

"What's there to tell?"

"Bus ride home from the ski trip; you, Joey and the afterglow. I'm assuming you're no longer virgin prince of my handheld fantasies?"

Dawson colored.

"So how did it feel to have all your dreams come true?"

"I never really got to find out. We climbed out of bed and fell down an elevator shaft."

"So…4 stars, then?"

"At a certain point, the whole thing became too much to process. My brain just shut down and right now I'm just operating on sheer instinct. Which is liberating. Terrifying, nauseating, exhilarating…but liberating."

"So what does your instinct tell you to do?"

"Well, for starters…" he coughed.

"And while I laud the intent," Jen laughed. "You might want to take a look at the relationship you two have with your clothes _on_."

"The topic and meat of the screenplay that will eventually win me my first Oscar."

"In the meantime…"

"There's minefield between us worthy of an entire Sting album. And ideas for getting across?"

"Bring her a cup of coffee in the morning and ask how she slept."

"That's what the great sage, Jen Lindley, has to offer?"

"Hey, I'm the one the freshman broke up with by proxy."

"But you took a chance."

"I did. Mostly because Henry stuck. Well, until the ignoble end. But there is a lesson there. _Stick_, Dawson. Stick and don't push, you know?"

"It's a start," Dawson gave her a grateful smile.

"You're one of the good guys, Dawson. You'll figure this out." She bumped his arm with her shoulder. "Hey, I think that's your Dad."

"Thanks, Jen," Dawson called as he raced to his father's side.

"It's all right," Mitch said, hugging him. "I mean, she's on modified bedrest for a while, but it's all right."

Dawson clapped his father on the back before going into the room with him to see his mom.

* * *

"You ready?" 

"You're sure we have to do this?"

"I'm sure, And. We gotta start this as we mean to continue. Dougie used to say that to me all the time, now it's making sense. Unless you're having second…"

"Pacey, my father can be pretty awful."

"Yeah, got the scars to prove it. But he loves you. So do I."

Andie pushed the sunglasses up into her hair and gave Pacey the thumbs up. After a 2-hour argument over who was going to be the one to talk to her father, they'd finally reached the obvious conclusion.

Pacey took her hand and they walked into the restaurant together.

* * *

Joey stepped out of her room, racing for coffee and watching the clock. 

"Here," Dawson held out a cup of coffee from her favorite drive-thru. "Uh, how did you sleep?"

"What…" she looked around, but he was the only one in the kitchen. "What are you doing here, Dawson?"

"Here's the thing," he began, carefully. "I love you. OK, I've always loved you. But what I'm saying is, I'm _in_ love with you."

She stood, peering at him with wary eyes.

"I know that this is fucked up, Jo. Practically beyond all recognition. All I'm asking for here is a chance."

"I don't have time for this, not this morning."

"Let me drive you to school."

She shook her head. "It will just confuse things that are already too confused."

"No, it will just convey us to where we need to go."

"Dawson, not now," she sighed.

He placed the coffee on the table and raised his hand in supplication. Everything inside his head was telling him to have it out with her. And then, for an instant, he saw Pacey's stupid smile. Clenching his fist, he forced himself to step back. "OK, no pressure here. I promise. You've called me an eternal optimist. But Spielberg once said he didn't want to be called that. He said he preferred to be called hopeful. Well, that's how I am about us, Jo. I still have hope."

She watched as he left, and then grabbed the truck keys and went out the door herself. Leaving the coffee behind.

* * *

They caught the 2:15 out of Logan to Miami. 

He carried both their backpacks onto the plane, she held a bag with some bottled water and magazines.

They were quiet.

After takeoff, he tapped her shoulder as she stared out the little oval window.

"He doesn't think we'll make it," she shuddered. "No one does."

"Don't you remember what Cusack said in that movie? _That's the start of every great love story_."

She wiped her cheek and nodded. He leaned back in his seat, keeping a hand in her hair.

* * *

Joey stepped out of her bedroom the next morning, buttoning her sweater absently. 

Dawson was standing in the kitchen again.

"What, do you have a key?" she demanded.

"No, I beamed in."

"Good, then you can beam out."

"Nothing of any value in this world comes at an easy price," he shrugged, holding out a cup of coffee.

"We can't keep doing this," Joey complained.

"Joey, you won't take my calls. You avoid me in school. You dropped out of Prom Committee. My choices have been severely limited here."

"You have to go now," she instructed. "Seriously, I need some time alone to review my Lit notes before school."

"I'll be back," he promised, before putting down the coffee and leaving.

She stared at it for a long time.

* * *

Andie found him sitting on the bow of the boat, his legs dangling. She lowered herself next to him. 

"Heard about the fight you had with Angie," she said quietly.

"Yeah," Pacey looked out at the water. "And if you don't mind, I'd like to skip the usual passive-aggressive banter."

Andie sighed. "What happened?"

"She bumped me back down to washing dishes."

"You took off with little notice," she reminded him.

"I spent 9 months – "

"Off and on," she teased.

"-Working my way up in that kitchen."

"And you'll get back to the fun stuff soon, I'm sure," Andie bumped his shoulder with hers.

"You're supposed to be on my side, especially since you're the reason I left on that little jaunt."

"I _am_ on your side. But you may remember that in the codicil to subparagraph B as negotiated in the Capeside Reveal of our sophomore year, I do retain the right to disagree."

"Only when I'm wrong," Pacey argued.

Andie giggled, a merry sound that made him scowl.

"Ahoy the boat!" Trick called from the pier, a beer in his hand and a smile on his face.

Pacey helped Andie up and they hopped over to him.

"My friends at Constitution Yacht Club called back, you've got a place there for 2 nights if you want it."

Pacey pulled the pencil from behind his ear and scrambled to check the map they had taped to the wall belowdecks. "What dates?"

"'Bout May 5th," Trick answered.

"Prom's late May," Andie mused. "Would we still make it?"

"We don't want to be coming in much sooner. We're chasing weather as is. You should just fly home, like I suggested in the first place."

"Because the goal here is for me to be dancing with myself while you get lost in the Atlantic?"

"Point to the lady," Trick laughed.

"All right, so that's the first stop of the great Witter-McPhee spring sea procession home confirmed," Pacey smiled with satisfaction as he climbed back up on the deck. "I've never planned something so far in advance in my life."

Trick indicated the main house with his chin. "Then let's go celebrate," he suggested.

Pacey held out his hand, and Andie took it. "Let's."

* * *

Friday morning, Joey swung her backpack over her shoulder as she exited her room and didn't frown at Dawson, waiting in the kitchen. 

"So what's the plan here?"

"The plan? Well, first of all, I'm hoping that you'll tell me if you switched to tea. Because at this point, I've signed up for some kind of a frequent buyer plan at the coffee place that may include selling some kind of a body part in the future."

She grabbed the coffee and took a sip. "The coffee is good, actually."

"You're welcome," he smiled. "I know that on top of everything else, we launched out relationship into some uncharted territory last month but I honestly think regardless of how complicated things are, we'll be fine if we just take it a day at a time."

"I'm not ready for a whole day of…"

"All right," he interrupted, afraid she would cancel the small moment they were sharing. "We'll start with 5 minutes. Can you do 5 minutes?"

She gave him a long look and sat down at the table. He slowly sat down across from her.

"Remember the first time we said I love you?"

Joey nodded, slowly.

"We broke up like 10 seconds later. I don't want us to repeat that history, Jo. What we felt that night at the ski lodge, that something was finally and absolutely right between us... that was the single most true moment of my life. And refuse to let it become just the prelude to another heartbreak. You just have to…"

Before he could finish, Joey looked up at the clock and without a word, grabbed her coat and jacket and headed out the door.

Dawson swore.

* * *

The rain played percussion on the bulkhead of the _True Love_ as Pacey and Andie sprawled below on the bench seats; the table piled high with papers, the open laptop, and mugs of half-drank coffee and tea between them. 

"This is a waste of time."

"Mmm hmm." She responded casually, sipping her tea.

"Look," Pacey said seriously. "The truth is that I'm that stereotypical guy who can't handle it when his girlfriend is headed to Harvard while he's a dishwasher."

"Pacey, you're _not_ that guy."

"I feel like that guy. Because as much as I want not to care, and as much as I wish that I could just let it roll off of my back, I can't. I'm jealous. Not just because for you this has been a working vacation and for me this has been… life. But of all the people who are going to get to experience you next year while I'm not."

Andie exhaled and looked at him. "Bullshit."

"Uh, pardon me?"

"_Bullshit_, Pace. You have as many paths open to you as I have to me. Different, because we're strong and weak in different ways. You're just as smart as I am but where I get great grades and fumble socially, you got mediocre-"

"Heinous," he corrected.

"-Grades and charm everyone in your path. I'm going to go to Harvard and become a doctor. Knowing that is both a blessing and a curse. Having your future mapped out at 12 years old may seem cool until you meet a man who brings joy and spontaneity and adventure into your life. You're interested in cooking, one of these places will teach you how. Maybe it will be great, maybe it won't. Sometimes _I_ get jealous of_ you_ because always have that in front of you, that discovery waiting. But mostly? Bullshit because we're going to be together, Pace. Whatever Fate brings us in terms of dreams and paths and experiences, **we** are the ones who choose our traveling companions."

Pacey leaned across the table and took her hand, carefully kissing the tender spot on her wrist.

"And another thing, don't ever tell me that you're 'less than' or unworthy."

Pacey met her gaze and nodded, solemnly. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Pace."

"All right," he said, clearing his throat and pulling out one of the brochures. "What do we have here?"

"Does that one have the semester abroad thing?" Andie asked.

"No, but the price is absolutely right."

Andie wrinkled her nose. Pacey glanced at her and laughed. "Of course, I should also mention that all classes are over the Internet."

"Great way to learn how to be a chef!" she snickered as he tossed it in the recycle bin.

"Wait!" Pacey held up one of the catalogs. "Wow, Andie… look at this."

She put down her mug and took the book from him. "Oh, Pace, this looks _amazing_. Cordon Bleu, semester abroad…and it's, hang on," she began tapping keys. "Less than 2 miles from the Yard."

"But check out the requirements," he sighed, reading the back cover. "There's no way…"

Andie growled at him. With a shake of his head, he dug up the legal pad and found a pen.

"First you need your G.E.D.," she dictated. "Then two recommendations from professional chefs…"

* * *

It was a late winter snowstorm, wet and gray. Joey groaned as she hunted for her boots.

"Can I help?" Dawson asked, sipping a coffee. _Because he was starting to like the stuff from Joey's favorite drive-thru._

"No," She huffed with frustration. "You know, this doesn't change anything. It doesn't give us back the first time. It doesn't undo finding out you were cheating on Gretchen. It doesn't…"

"I know," Dawson stepped beside her. "And if I could take all that back, I would. But we have to start somewhere."

Joey stood, defiant and dry-eyed. "It was supposed to be…"

"I know," Dawson agreed. "I know. Don't you think that's what I wanted, too? It was the single most important night of my life, and instead of being this magical, crystalline memory it has become a wedge between us. I don't have any more apologies. But I'm not giving up, Jo. My relationship with you is too essential. So, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm…sticking. "

"You're _sticking_? My own blonde Marion Ravenwood?"

Dawson smiled. It felt new to him. "Try me," he asked.

She looked at the clock. "Look, we'll be late."

"I'll drive," Dawson offered.

"Fine," she agreed softly.

* * *

Pacey exited the classroom at the community college, sweaty and tired.

"8 hours is so extreme," Andie said, walking up and hugging him.

"I didn't pass," he said, holding her tight. "There's no way I just passed all that. No way they're gonna give me my G.E.D. I should have prepared at least a couple more weeks. Months. Maybe years, McPhee."

"You aced all the pre-tests," Andie demurred. "Have some confidence."

"It's not lack of confidence," he argued. "It's reality."

* * *

Dawson didn't notice at first that something wasn't right because he was studying at the kitchen table.

But it became obvious when she came down the hall in her pajamas.

"What's wrong?" he looked up.

"Go on without me. My throat hurts and my head hurts... I don't have any midterms until 3rd period, I'm going to see if I feel better by then."

He stared at her. "What can I do?"

"Nothing. Go to school," she padded back to her room.

Dawson stepped into her bedroom minutes later with a paper bag. "I got some pain reducer stuff and a bottle of disgusting cold medicine. And a lollipop the pharmacist says works great on sore throats for kids." He unwrapped it and held it out to her.

"Thanks," she whispered, stuffing it in her mouth.

He pulled off his coat and pulled the chair over, kicking off his shoes and putting his feet up on her bed. "I have the same first midterm as you. You want to quiz each other or just rest?"

"Uh, rest for a bit, I think," she rewrapped the lollipop and took some of the medicine.

He nodded and pulled a book from his bag. Opening it, he began reading. Joey watched him for long minutes in the silence, before falling back to sleep.

* * *

Pacey came off shift, walking across the lawn towards the boat. Waving an envelope at Andie, who smiled from the pier.

"I passed!" he shouted, starting to run.

He caught her and twirled her up in the air. "I passed!" he laughed.

"I knew you would!" she boasted. "Now we have to finish the applications."

"First things first," he waggled his eyebrows and Andie raced him back to the boat.

* * *

The credits rolled up on the screen as they lay watching, side by side, on his bed.

It was the first time she'd been to his house since the ski trip.

He looked over at her and caught her smile. Without closing his eyes, he slowly leaned over and kissed her.

She kissed him back. Tentatively. With only their lips touching yet everything else connecting.

With a long sigh, he finally pulled his head back and gazed at her eyes. "You all right?" he asked.

"Dawson?" Mitch's voice rang from the bottom of the stairs. "Your mother's water just broke!"

* * *

Jack put his feet in Jen's lap and chatted with his sister on the phone tucked against his ear.

"I got the fax. It was even somewhat legible. This is quite the cruise, sis," he leafed through some papers with dates and places on them. "Have you heard from Pacey's applications yet?"

"His backup school accepted him but they're an hour from Cambridge," Andie sighed. "Nothing yet from his first choice. Do you have a date to Prom yet?"

"I thought it would just be me and Jen, but now she's got her meddling face on."

Andie's laugh echoed from Florida.

"Hang on, sis, that's Joey beeping on the other line."

"I have to hang up anyway, I'm working a banquet in about 15 minutes."

Jack said his goodbyes and flashed the phone.

"Jack? We're at the hospital…"

* * *

Joey and Dawson stood in the hallway with Jack, Jen, Bessie, and Grams nearby.

Mitch exited the room, exhausted and glowing. Everyone turned.

"Dawson!" he cried, pulling his son into his arms. "Would you like to meet your sister, Lillian?"

"Lillian?" Bessie and Joey shared a long, sentimental look.

Mitch pushed the door open, for them all to see.

* * *

"We are now, officially, _out_ of International waters," The Commodore announced jovially.

Trick reached down and plucked the beer from Pacey's hand. He didn't protest. The Commodore had been very accommodating in allowing Andie back, so respecting him by following _all_ the rules was no big deal. Instead, he stood and stretched, then headed out to the deck.

Trick tapped Jack and Ed, who were also underage; they tossed their cans in the recycling bin.

Doug followed his brother, glancing down the rail where the rods had long since been detached and put away. "Does anyone ever actually catch any fish on these fishing trips?"

"Oh, yeah. My first trip I swear I hooked a blue that was at least 150 pounds. And those things _fight_."

"Did you reel it in?"

"Well, no. But the battle was epic; went on for over an hour and I swear to you Doug, my arms were about to fall off. Very_ Old Man and the Sea_."

Doug gave him a look.

"Or, in your language, very _90210_, you know – when Dylan took Brenda out that one time?"

Doug rolled his eyes. "I think I enjoy fishing back home, more."

"So do I, actually. The trips we took were always more memorable than these, but then again – I'm not knocking a day like today on a boat like this."

Doug was surprised, but didn't say anything.

Jack joined them, handing a cold can of soda over to Pacey. "Damn, that's gorgeous," he sighed, sitting down in a deckchair and looking at the lightshow the sky was putting on for a sunset. "I see why you stayed, Pacey."

"Yeah, it gets in your blood," he and Doug both settled in chairs themselves. "Time moves differently down here. I mean, people say that – but then you live it for a year and realize how true it is. We'll be back, I think. For vacations, anyway."

Doug continued to give his brother a long, thoughtful look.

Jack cleared his throat. "So you're missing Easter with the rest of your family, Doug?"

"Uh," Doug shook his head. "Yeah. But not really _missing_ it, if you know what I mean. How about you, Jack?"

"My family hasn't been big on holidays since, well, the last few years. I'm losing out on Grams' spread, though."

"Well, I'll see what we can do for you," Pacey promised. "Although the thought of getting up and peeling 50 pounds of potatoes tomorrow…"

"Honest work," Doug toasted him.

Pacey tossed him a rueful grin. "Last big hurrah before we bring the _True Love_ back north," he mused, watching the last bit of sun slip away, leaving the sky an impossible blue that merged with the sea.

The running lights of the yacht flickered on brighter, and three men settled back into their chairs, watching the heavens in silence.

It was a beautiful night.

* * *

She heard him calling and turned. "I missed you this morning."

"My adorable new baby sister is a night owl," Dawson explained, jogging up and handing her a cup of coffee.

Joey dimpled a bit as she accepted it, taking a small sip. The warning bell echoed across the lawn and they headed back towards the school.

Joey felt Dawson slip his hand around hers.

The high school equivalent of a billboard: _Dawson and Joey are Dating Again!!_

She stopped and looked down, then back at Dawson. She felt like every student on the lawn was watching them, waiting to see what she'd do.

Dawson waited, too.

Joey felt a thousand emotions spin through her like sagebrush. Her first instinct was to pull back, to slip back into the folds of invisibility she'd try to forge over the past. Then she felt his thumb stroke the back of her hand, a tiny little movement. Her heart beat faster. The wind ruffled his hair as he stood, letting her decide.

Joey took a deep breath and nodded. Hand in hand, they walked together to Homeroom.

Leaning against a tree, Drue Valentine lowered his camera and checked the shot in the preview window.

_Class Couple, together again_. _Originally he'd meant it as a prank but it turned out the joke was on him. _

_Well, what can you do?_

* * *

It seemed the entire staff of the Luca Island Yacht Club turned out to see them off.

The _True Love_ was literally packed to the point of capsizing. Angie ran up with a basket of food as they were about to cast off.

"Thanks," he whispered, his voice rough with emotion, as he gave the head chef a peck on the cheek.

Trick gave them a final salute. "Be well, boyo. And take care of your lady," he pulled Pacey into quick embrace. "Stay in touch, yeah?"

With a hard pull, the line was free. Pacey turned the motor and sent the boat towards open water.

Andie fought back tears at his side, waving goodbye.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Yes?" she caught her breath, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"I forgot to ask," he kissed her lightly. "Will you go to Prom with me, Andie?"

Andie wrinkled her nose, "Yes, Pacey, I think I should."

* * *

Bessie entered the room and began heating water for tea. "I am really glad you two have made up, because I couldn't take losing my mornings any more."

"Thanks for your patience, Bessie," Dawson responded.

Joey looked at him in contemplation. Then she shrugged and went back to her room to finish getting ready for school.

Bessie and Dawson shared a quick look and he quickly followed Joey out of the room.

"What was that?"

"What?" Joey asked, packing books into her backpack.

"That expression on your face, back there. When Bessie said we'd made up. We have, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Joey?"

She zipped her bag and dropped it to the floor. Then started pulling on her boots.

"What, Dawson?"

"This is going to sound somewhat prepubescent but I can actually find no other way to ask – you _are_ my girlfriend, right?"

"I guess," she shrugged.

"Joey, I'm going to need a clearer and more enthusiastic response than that. If you could just, stop a second here…" Anxiety began to creep up his throat.

"I don't know, Dawson. I don't know what that means. I don't know how you feel."

"Me?" he sputtered. "I think I have been brilliantly clear on the subject. I'm all in, Jo. 100. What's going on with you?" He demanded, sitting beside her.

"Sex, Dawson."

"OK, what about it?"

"I'm not sure I'm ready…"

"OK, then you're not. Have you seen me pushing?"

"No, but… it's only natural. We've done it once already, and Prom's coming up, and I can't help but think…"

"Stop right there," Dawson pleaded. "First of all, just because we made love last winter doesn't mean I assume we're going to do it again on any specific date. I think when it feels right for both of us, we'll know."

"So you don't want to?"

"Of course, I want to," he exhaled in a gust. "You're beautiful, I'm in love with you, and I'm a teenaged male. But what we're building here is more important."

She nodded, slowly. "I keep waiting for you to get impatient, to want to…I don't know… to go back or forward or something that's more than kissing and holding hands. To tell me that it's time for me to get over what happened before, because I know you're thinking it."

"I'd be lying if I told you that I don't think about being with you. I do, all the time. But wanting something and expecting it are two entirely different things. And I _am_ tired of feeling guilty, but that's my penance and I'll do it."

"Penance?" She stood and faced him. "So you're just putting up with my punishment of you?"

"No! Joey, don't do this. Don't escalate this back into something after we have worked so hard for so many months to get us back!"

She huffed a few breaths. "I don't know why I feel like this, Dawson. It's making me crazy."

He stood and took her hands in his. "What can I say?"

Her eyes were bright and bewildered.

"So, wait," he touched his forehead to hers. "Was that you agreeing to go to Prom with me back then?"

"If you get around to asking."

"I'm asking, Joey. Will you go to Senior Prom with me?" She inhaled deeply but before she could answer, Dawson added, "No anticipation on either side of anything more than a dance, and a good time, all right?"

She exhaled. "Yes, Dawson. I will go to Prom with you."


	13. Prom

Pacey took a deep breath but it didn't help, he was still ill at ease. Coming back, after last year's prom, after so long away, felt… surreal.

Beside him, Andie shimmered in silver tissue dress she'd found in a little vintage shop on their travels home. With a sparkling pin holding her hair away from her face. "Ready?" she asked, searching his face.

Pacey straightened his tie and nodded. "As I'll ever be. You?"

"Whether I am or not…" she shook off some of the nervousness.

Pacey looked at her and grinned. "You're absolutely ethereal tonight."

Andie scrunched up her mouth in a gesture that said 'You're blind.'

He reached out his hand and captured hers, lifting it to his lips for a kiss. "It's true, Andie. You take my breath away."

She exhaled in a gust and smiled. Together, they walked in the door.

The lights, the music, the crush of people all blended to make the Prom feel more like Times Square on New Year's Eve than just another dance. Unlike the previous year at the restaurant, the sheer volume and noise was off the charts.

"Wow," Pacey actually took a step back.

Andie looked across the dance floor and squealed. Grabbing Pacey's hand, she led him to her brother.

"You're here!" she announced excitedly.

"Where else would I be?" He twirled his sister and whistled appreciatively at her outfit.

"I'm Tobey," the other guy announced.

"Oh, sorry! I'm Andie, Jack's sister. And this is my-"

"Life partner and sailing instructor," Pacey gave her a look and held out his hand to shake Tobey's. "Pacey Witter."

"He also does dishes," Jack offered.

Pacey chuckled and clapped him on the back. _Hard_.

Dawson appeared with Joey on his arm. "Hey."

"Hi! Look at you, gorgeous," Jack complimented Joey, who twirled in her lilac dress.

Jen bounced up and hugged Jack. "Hi, handsome."

Drue followed and inspected Jack and Tobey. "Darling," he smiled at Jack. "You're a vision."

"Is there anyway we can muzzle him?" Jen demanded.

Drue draped an arm around her shoulders, which Jen quickly ducked out of. "You're adorable when you're angry," he smiled.

Pacey's eyes narrowed. "What's going on?"

Jack laughed. "Retribution, old friend."

"With a side of sarcasm," Jen complained, holding up what looked to be a wrist corsage made of cabbage.

"Look, don't come crying," Joey teased. "You chose not to think of the consequences of a certain action before you went and performed said action and now you reap what you sow."

"The punishment does _not_ fit the crime," Jen muttered.

Dawson tugged Joey's hand. "Let's dance," he urged, wanting to get away from Pacey and be alone with Joey.

"All right," she agreed softly as he led her away.

"This place is insane," Drue's eyes examined the decorations and crowd.

"Mos Eisley," Pacey intoned. "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must all be cautious."

"Mos Eisley done over in pink and green, and way too much taffeta to be healthy," Drue added. "A nightmare in any dimension."

"Coral and aqua," Jack corrected. "It's a _Little Mermaid_ meets South Beach theme. I was, quite obviously, outvoted."

"Deeply disturbing," Pacey informed him with a lift of his eyebrow.

"It was in _your_ honor, Sinbad. Yours and Andie's," Jen turned to Drue. "Hello? Date needs drink."

Drue raked his eyes over her. "I may have just the thing. If you'll accompany me to the Lido deck?"

Jen slipped her hand in his offered arm and accompanied Drue out the door.

"That? Makes me nervous. She hasn't been herself since she got back from New York."

"What happened in New York?" Andie asked.

"I don't know; she hasn't wanted to talk about it."

The band began to play an upbeat tune. "Hey, you," Pacey pulled on Andie's hand, twirling her up against his chest. "Dance?"

She turned back around under his arm and faced him. "You gonna go gentle with me, Baryshnikov?" Andie teased.

Before she could finish, he snaked a hand back around her waist and pulled her close. "Not a chance," he whispered in her ear. "You'll be crying for mercy…"

"As long as you carry me home," she smiled into his eyes. "_Yes_."

He leaned down and kissed her lips softly, the barest brush of skin. Exhaled, lifted her hand, and twirled her away.

"Is it just me, or do those two have a serious Haley/Nathan vibe going?"

"More like Leia/Han Solo," Jack retorted, uncomfortably realizing he was now alone with Tobey. "And Drue in a cameo as Jabba the Hutt. Speaking of which, maybe I should go check on Jen."

Tobey held up a hand and blew out a long breath. "Or we could…dance?"

"We talked about this. It isn't a date, Tobey. Just…"

"Two gay guys at a high school prom? It's a _dance_, Jack. Not a 'stand and sway on the sidelines'."

"I just don't think I'm ready for that."

"You can't be theoretically homosexual, Jack. I mean, why did even have Jen invite me tonight?"

Jack flinched, his ambivalence with the situation written large on his face.

"God," Tobey bit out, frustrated. "Did you even…? Jack - I don't know what this is all about, but call me when you get over it." He walked away.

"Tobey…!" Jack called. But Tobey didn't return. After a few minutes, Jack gave up and headed for the stairs.

"I'm the queen of the world!" Jen announced to the Capeside harbor.

"All righty, then. Enough of that," Drue pulled the bottle from her hand. She immediately began fishing in her purse for some pills.

Dure laughed and pulled that bottle away, too. "Keep this up and you'll get caught _again_, Lindley."

"Like you wouldn't love that. Like you don't just live for other people's misery. You're the Duke of Schadenfreude!"

"Jen, seriously, what's wrong?"

"Drue, seriously, like you care."

"Pretend I do."

"You're like a parasite for other people's pain. Go away!" Jen shouted, stepping back and nearly falling into the railing.

Jack reached her just in time, throwing his arms around her waist. "What the hell?" he demanded of Drue.

"She just downed like a pint of good scotch in 3 minutes flat," Drue reported, rolling his eyes.

"Jen?"

She rotated and vomited on Jack's shoes.

"Oh, she's all yours, man," Drue held up his hands and walked away.

Back in the ballroom, Andie twirled in Pacey's arms, catching site of Joey sitting alone outside the glass doors.

"Where's Dawson?" Andie wondered.

"Oh, I could go all night without answering that," Pacey responded, pulling her close and spinning her.

"Maybe you should go over there," She indicated. "See if she's OK?"

"Maybe _we_ should go over there," he corrected.

"No," she shook her head.

"Andie, are you forgetting our little fiasco last year? The land-based version of _Poseidon_ our scrappy little crew put on? Now that we're actually afloat, I think the last thing we should be doing is…"

"Look at her," Andie urged.

Pacey turned his head, saw the vulnerable cast in Joey's eyes. The way the wind pulled her hair around her long neck. "Andie," he groaned. "What are you doing to me, here?"

"Last year, this time…"

"No, no…"

"Listen," she held up her hand. "I can't be Noel."

"Noelle? Who's Noelle?"

"No. _Noel_. You know, the smart geeky cute one who lost out to the other guy and then had to stand by for like another 3 seasons watching the curly haired girl keep choosing someone else."

"So, who's the curly haired girl in this analogy?"

"You."

"I can't be the curly haired girl."

"Pacey, you are… or maybe Joey is."

"Halt, I beg you," Pacey urged, smoothing her hair and holding Andie close to his chest. "No one is the curly haired girl here. Not you. Not me. I promised you a Prom. A perfect night. And if I go over there, the odds of some kind of non-perfect altercation go way up."

"I don't care. Go over, Pacey. You're her friend. And you stand by your friends, it's one of the things I love about you."

He bent his head back, looking into her eyes. "Last year on that horrible walk home, you showed this amazing dignity and generosity."

"It was all a show," she confided.

"None of it was," he scoffed. "That's _you_, Andrea McPhee. Every inch of you a class act. I didn't deserve it that night. I don't deserve it now."

She tucked her head back under his chin and let him lead. In her mind, she touched the tender memories, but 6 months with Pacey had strengthened her heart. The thoughts no longer made her cringe.

She stepped out of his arms and met his gaze. "No ghosts, Pacey. We can't run from the past. The good and the bad both brought us here."

"Right," he acquiesced.

"Thank you," she smiled.

"But if Dawson shows up - just remember it was your idea?"

"The bail bondsman takes traveler's checks, but you won't need them," she joked, giving him a push.

Pacey walked the few dozen yards to Joey slowly.

"Hey."

"Hey."

The melancholy in her expression was like a kick to his gut. "You all right, Jo?"

"Sure," she shook off her cobwebs. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Good question."

She shook her head and looked away.

"Joey."

She turned back.

"Dance with me," he urged.

"I'm sort of over my apocalyptic gestures phase," she declined.

"Dance with the devil, c'mon," he held out his hand.

She looked around, and then stood and followed him back into the ballroom. He carefully placed an arm around her waist and she put a hand on his shoulder. They moved in tiny little steps.

"I know this song," Joey looked over at the band and began to hum along.

_And now I don't want to talk about the things you overcame_

_By dragging up the past I'll put you through it all again_

_I've got the greatest admiration for the way that you got through it_

_Couldn't ask nobody else to do it better than you do it_

_Stay - stay you that's the toughest thing to do…_

"The lady at the dance studio used to play it," Pacey said softly.

She looked up, surprised.

"Uh," he cleared his throat. "I never did hear if you and Worthington."

"I got in," she smiled bitterly.

He spun her as a new song started, with a faster beat. "I'm detecting a marked lack of enthusiasm, Potter."

"I can't afford it. Even with loans, grants, a scholarship…the B&B is doing so well that they think Bessie should be able to throw thousands of dollars my way."

Pacey winced. "Look, I don't have much, but…"

"No!" she stopped for a second and then began dancing again. "Don't even offer. What about you? Any plans for…" she gave him a rueful smile. "It's so strange. I don't know hardly anything that's going on with you. I mean, are you graduating?"

"In a way, I already did," he puffed up his chest in mock self-importance. "I got my G.E.D. last month. Part of a deal I made with Doug."

"Congratulations."

"I know it's not as cool as the whole spongegown squarehat thing you've got planned."

She laughed. "No, it's awesome, Pacey. I'm proud of you. Any idea what you're gonna do now?"

"Cooking school, in Boston."

"Wow!"

He nodded, "Like an associate's degree in applied frying pans or something. But it comes with a Cordon Bleu certificate and a work/study at a restaurant, so I'm pretty psyched. I'd be even happier if I knew _you_ were going to be all right."

"I will be. I got into a couple of other good schools that have more reasonable financial expectations, and I'm up for a full merit scholarship at one of them, so…"

"I can't believe this," Dawson said across the room, holding two cups of punch.

"_There's_ the teenage drama I was promised in the Capeside brochure," Drue crowed, dancing up to Dawson with Andie in his arms.

"No," Andie stepped away from Drue with a nasty look, moving to Dawson's side. "It's not."

Dawson looked at her. "How are you so calm?"

"How are you _not_?" Andie challenged.

Their eyes caught for a long, simmering moment. Then Andie reached over and took one of the cups, taking a gulp.

"We have admirers," Pacey whispered, his eyes darting across the room.

"Oh," Joey squeezed her eyes shut for a second. Then she stepped away from Pacey and walked back outside, away from everyone.

Dawson jogged after her, ignoring his old friend as he passed. "Joey," he stopped next to her.

She shook her head and looked out at the night sky.

"I see him and it all comes flooding back," he explained.

"You need to call a truce, Dawson. He's your best friend."

"No, _you_ are," he corrected.

"You can't throw away what you two had…"

"He's the one that threw it away."

"Please, Dawson. Can't you reach out? There's nothing left fighting for. He's with Andie; I'm with you."

"I like hearing you say that out loud."

"I like saying it, but this thing between you and Pacey…"

"Is between me and Pacey. I'm more concerned with us."

"And I'm concerned…"

"Why?" Dawson burst. "Why, Joey? Why are you so caught up in Pacey and how I feel about him?"

"Because nothing is all right until that is fixed, Dawson! Can't you see that?"

"So, what? You being with me is contingent on me settling things with him? No. No, Joey, it doesn't work that way. You love me or you don't and it can't have a damn thing to do with Pacey Witter or anyone else."

"I love you, but…"

"No 'but' Joey. Stop there."

She looked at him with wide eyes. "I can't."

On the upper deck, Jen watched them.

"Second verse, same as the first," Jack noted, standing beside her. "It's time you tell me what happened in New York."

"I told my dad I saw him with Annie Sawyer," Jen turned and collapsed in a chair. "She was this girl who lived in the apartment downstairs with her parents, and she was so cool, Jack. And so _young_. Probably just the age we are now."

"And?"

"And one day I walked in on my father having sex with her in my parents' bedroom."

"Ah."

"But that doesn't count. _I'm_ the whore," she took a long, shuddering breath.

"You're _not_," Jack argued. "I know you think you carry this taint, but it is absolutely not true. You have the purest heart of anyone I know, Jen."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"Then tell me - when is it our turn, Jack? When do we get something clean and passionate and good?"

He held her and shrugged. "I don't know. It will happen, though. You have so much to give, Jen. The right guy will come along. For each of us. Hell, he may be on this boat right now."

"You can't possibly mean…"

"No, not anyone from Capeside. But maybe one of the guys in the band, or one of the crew?"

"The moppy headed singer? Or one of those knobby-kneed dweebs? No, thank you."

"We'll have love, Jen," he promised.

"You have a head start," she reminded him. "Speaking of, where is the erstwhile Tobey?"

"Probably off with Drue," he cracked.

"No, I'm here," Drue announced, walking towards them with his hands in his pockets.

"Oh, God, I thought I'd managed to lose you."

"Never, Jenny-penny," Dure chided. "I'm a very diligent escort. Until Jack's paid me in full I'm not going anywhere," he held out his hand.

"About that," Jack sighed. "I think we can take it from here, Drue."

"No, you got bigger fish to fry," Drue shook his head, closing his fingers around hers. "I'm gonna take her downstairs and get her some of that fancy fruit juice and ginger ale punch. And if she's extra good? I'll even get her a scoop of sherbert on top."

"No, it's-"

"Jack, I'll take care of her," Drue interrupted, suddenly serious. "You have my word."

Jack met the other man's eyes and nodded.

"Jack!" Jen laughed, as Drue led her to the doors.

Jack grinned and waved.

"Do we trust him?" Pacey asked, walking onto the deck with Andie tucked under his arm.

"Yeah, well…he's admittedly an acquired taste, but I don't think he's actually evil anymore."

"I buy Darth Vader's redemption. I even buy Shawshank's redemption. But Drue Valentine's?"

"We got a bit of our own back a few months ago, and, well…"

"The sailboat in the pool? That was _you_?! God, we heard about that!"

"Me, Dawson and Jen," Jack quickly explained the prank.

After the laughter died down, Andie looked around. "Jack, where's Tobey?"

"Question of the night!" He exploded.

Pacey and Andie shared a look of surprise. "What happened?"

"I wasn't ready to wave the burning flag," Jack answered a little more calmly. "I am, as it turns out, a politically backward specimen of a gay man."

"That's crazy, bro," Pacey sympathized softly. "Wasn't the whole point that we should just be who we are, as we are?"

Jack shrugged in agreement.

"It's _Senior_ _Prom_, Jackers," Andie announced. "This is supposed to be _fun_."

"Yee-ha," Jack teased his sister.

Dawson stepped out on the deck and looked from face to face. "Yee-what?" he asked.

"I have been reminded that it is passé to lose one's date," Jack informed him. "And am now advancing to seek and converse."

"And possibly dance," Andie added. She moved towards the door. "And I'm going to help," She followed her brother, turning back for a moment to wave her hand in a subtle instruction that Pacey should talk to Dawson.

"They're subtle," Dawson observed, watching them leave.

"Like a rocket," Pacey agreed mildly.

"Joey wants us to talk."

"Ah. The question is, what do you want?" Pacey asked, looking into the night.

"Actually," Dawson admitted. "I'd like to try. Making things right with her seems to depend on making things right with the past."

Pacey nodded, "Sounds familiar. Andie plays that tune on the harmonica when the blues hit her just right."

"We've said some pretty crappy things," Dawson observed.

"And I meant them all, 100," Pacey answered.

"I know, so did I. And each of the swings I took, too."

"I don't know how we get past that."

"Maybe we don't. We can't go back to the way things used to be, Pace. What if the only tie that really binds us together is that we love the same people?"

"The same woman, you mean?" Pacey turned and met Dawson's gaze. "Because that was real. As much as you want to pretend it didn't happen."

Dawson's jaw throbbed as he gritted his teeth and counted to ten in his head.

"We have to start there, or it isn't worth a damn," Pacey told him.

"OK, you loved her."

"_Love_ her. And if I hadn't pulled that line last summer and sailed away, I can almost guarantee you that I would have spent the rest of my life like Don Quixote, chasing a Dulcinea that would never feel for me the way she feels for…you."

Dawson exhaled.

"That doesn't mean that I've stopped being her friend. Or missed being yours."

"I miss being yours, too," Dawson owned up. "But the betrayal ran deep."

"I know; look, I'm sorry. For my part in it. For the pain it must have caused you. And… I'm really sorry that I ruined your friendship, because you were pretty much the only good thing in my childhood."

"You were some of the best of mine, too."

"I know that things between you and I seem beyond repair," Pacey noted. "And I wouldn't presume to be able to solve everything in a conversation, but I don't want to be mad anymore. I don't want to carry this around anymore."

Dawson nodded. "And I don't want to see you and feel like I have to put my guard up, wondering what else is happening behind my back."

"That's fair," Pacey dragged a hand over his short hair.

They fell quiet.

"So maybe we start small. Like…how you been?"

"Good. I got into USC Film School."

"Incredible!" Pacey exclaimed. "That's great. You know, next thing you know you'll be directing Rory's madcap wedding to Jess as some kind of final exam."

"Dean," Dawson corrected with a small smile. "With Luke as flowergirl. On location somewhere exotic, like…Hawaii."

"Except it will actually be Vancouver," Pacey quipped. "Hey, how about I tell you something that is being planned behind _everyone's_ back? Andie and I are doing a semester abroad in Italy next year. With a side trip to Venice."

"That's cool," he replied, almost automatically. Then the expression on Dawson's face slowly dawned. "Wait, Venice? Really?"

"Really," Pacey's lips twitched in a smile.

"You're sure?"

"As I am that the cup was wood, old friend."

Dawson held out his hand. "Congratulations."

Pacey shook it. "Thanks."

They gave each other a satisfied look.

The glass doors opened and Andie and Joey stepped out on the deck, followed by Jen and Drue and a sour-looking Jack.

"Wow, there's a sight that does the soul good," Jen approved.

"Amen," Andie cheered, ducking into Pacey's embrace.

"No knives or longbows?" Joey asked, standing next to Dawson.

"No," he took her hand.

"You people make my teeth hurt," Drue complained.

"Why aren't you looking happier, bro?" Pacey asked Jack.

"He _really_ lost his date," Joey answered with a small laugh.

"Dude, boat's not that large."

"Dude, seriously," Jack retorted. "He's vanished."

"We looked everywhere," Andie agreed.

"Everywhere?" Pacey challenged, his eyes drifting towards the water.

All seven moved to the railing and looked overboard.

The inky black stretched as far as the eye could see.

"OK, this is creeping me out," Jen announced.

"Me, too," Drue harmonized. "Let's dance."

With a long-suffering sigh, she let him take her hand.

"Good idea," Joey hinted. Dawson slipped his arm over her shoulders and gave her an encouraging smile.

"My darling Crimson," Pacey cupped Andie's face. "Shall we?"

"We shall," Andie brushed her lips against his.

And they followed the rest down to the dance floor.


	14. Graduation and Coda

The day was warm and windy as Capeside High's graduating class stood ready to march towards their seats like a ribbon of fluttering black gowns.

"Here," Pacey adjusted Andie's golden cord. He stroked a finger down her cheek. "I'm just dying of pride, McPhee."

"If wishes were fishes…" she breathed.

"No," he gave her a smile. "It's the way it should be, Andie. It's just right."

She kissed his cheek and then raced to catch up with the end of the line.

As Pacey found a seat next to Mitch Leery, everyone fell quiet and stood for the invocation. Then the Principal and the Commencement Speakers slowly followed with forgettable words, punctuated with excruciatingly motivating songs played by the marching band.

Joey sat on the stage, smoothing her notes, and looking at the crowd of graduates facing her.

It was strange, how disconnected she felt. How calm, and clear everything suddenly seemed to be.

The scholarship award letter to Scripps College near Los Angeles was in her purse, under the bleachers where her family sat. She peered out, trying to find Dawson's big smile and broad shoulders. And wondered how he was going to react to the news.

Then music played, and Joey stood with shaking legs to give her speech. "_Principal Peskin, our families, my fellow graduates…_"

"…_Memories help make us who we are and who we will be. So whether you're here with each other now or you're merely in each other's thoughts, remember each other on that road ahead_."

"…_And I hope that no matter where your travels lead you in this life... you'll always take Capeside with you. Congratulations_."

The crowd began to applaud.

And then the sprinklers went off.

In the midst of the laughter and confusion that followed, Mr. Peskin stood up and blithely began calling the names of graduates as though nothing was happening.

So one by one through the spray, until some maintenance guy turned it off anyway, they filed through.

"…Dawson Leery…"

"…Jennifer Lindley…"

"…our Valedictorian, Andrea McPhee…"

"…Jack McPhee…"

"…our Salutatorian, Josephine Potter…"

Joey stepped onto the stage and carefully moved her tassel from one side to the other as she accepted her diploma.

As, in the background, she heard the cheers.

And smiled.

* * *

_**28 Months Later…  
**_

_7:40AM Local Time, Paris, France_

Behind Notre Dame, there is an open air market. The stalls are mostly plants and herbs, but there's also an eclectic bounty tucked in those tiny shops; like garden gnomes, and Christmas ornaments, and little boxes of sweets. Early in the mornings, as they set up for the day, was Joey's favorite time to browse.

She tossed her long scarf over her shoulder as she perused a collection of modest wooden children's toys, trying to pick the right one out for her nephew.

"Joey? Joey Potter?!"

She turned, startled, hunting for who had called her name.

"Joey?!"

"Mademoiselle?" A gentleman tapped her shoulder. "Là-bas." He pointed.

"Merci," she answered absently, looking through the dusky aisles.

"Joey?" He stepped into sight and her heart lurched so hard in her chest that she raised her hand over her heart.

"Dawson? Is that you?"

His eyes caught hers and he smiled broadly. Zig-zagging through the people, he pulled her tight for a long hug.

"What," she asked as he let her go. "What are you doing here?"

"I flew in on the overnight. One of your roommates told me where you'd be."

"You're really here," Joey felt the adrenaline from the surprise of seeing him shooting through her body.

"And so are you," Dawson retorted. "School started weeks ago, were you ever planning to come home?"

"We have so much to talk about," Joey told him. "I know I was out of touch all summer, but…"

"Me too," Dawson acknowledged. "And there will be plenty of time to for us to discuss it, except not right now."

"I don't understand what you're saying," her forehead puckered with confusion. As a gust of fine rain began to fall on them, Joey looked around and then led Dawson at a jog over the bridge to a nearby café.

"Let's get a table, have a coffee and some breakfast…"

"We don't have time," he said, his hand on her wrist, as she was about to find them seats.

"For what? Dawson you came all this way and now you're leaving?"

"_We_ are," he corrected. "If you'll take a leap of faith with me. There's this surprise going on a little south of here. I… I was getting on a plane and realized I couldn't do it without you. So I changed my reservation and here I am, except now we don't a second to spare. Say you'll come with me."

"Now?" She looked down at herself, dressed for work in a skirt and heels and a thin overcoat. Then she looked at him, his expensive suit and fancy tie.

"You're flawless. Say yes."

"I'll have to call into work," Joey warned.

With a smile, Dawson stepped back out to the street and raised his hand. "Taxi!"

* * *

_9AM Local time, Hotel via Lencioni, Venice, Italy_

"This is amazing," Gretchen whispered to her brother as they stood at the back of the room.

Doug Witter nodded to his sister. "Better than yesterday. They made sardines with raisins," he made a face.

As the chef on the small raised stage began talking about the history of the dessert dish, Pacey whipped cream by hand.

"But why is he even working here? His internship is in Rome, right?" Gretchen wondered.

"He knows the chef from the school. They're getting their hotel room comped because he's assisting with demonstrations," Doug replied, keeping his voice low. "Plus Pacey says it's an honor."

"But," she glanced at her watch, "he's only got like 2 hours…"

"We got to trust he's got it under control," Doug shrugged.

* * *

_10 AM Local Time_

Andie wrapped a gauzy shawl over her shoulders.

"I'm so glad you joined that nunnery," Jack said.

"Yes, the habits have really improved since Vatican 2," Jen teased.

"That's what this makes you think of? A penguin suit?" Andie smoothed down the pale pink dress that flared into a deep red at her knees.

"No! You're perfect," her brother said seriously, staring at her with a smile. "I mean that – the dress, the hair, and especially _you_."

"Oh. Well," she answered, a little overcome.

A soft knock hit the door before her father peeked his head in. "The Gondola is here to take us to brunch," he announced.

"Is the driver wearing a beanie and prepared to sing us arias?" Jen demanded, scooping up her purse.

"Good Lord," Jack shook his head. "I can't take you anywhere."

"And yet I'm like a duck to water now that we're in New York," she laughed.

"Because you're channeling your inner Carrie Bradshaw," he countered.

"Does it seem right to be doing this without Pacey?" Andie mused. "It's _his_ birthday."

"We'll save him a piece of cake," Jack promised.

"Or torte," Jen added.

"He's joining us at the palazzo," her brother reminded her.

"In the meantime," Joe McPhee awkwardly inserted. "Shall we?"

"We shall," Jen announced, "I'm starved."

"You look really nice," Andie's father said to her huskily. "Beautiful, actually."

Andie rested her head on his chest a moment. "Thanks, Daddy," she responded. Then she straightened. "Let's go."

* * *

_11:00AM Local Time, Marco Polo Airport, Venice, Italy_

"It's like Logan," Joey laughed. "You think you're gonna land in the water and at the last minute… there's the Earth."

Dawson agreed and glanced at his watch, urging her to hurry. At the bottom of the walkway, a man stood with a sign that said "Leerie". With a wave, the couple announced themselves and were soon on a cab headed over the bridge.

"This is costing you a fortune," Joey said, as they peered out at the sun-drenched buildings along the route.

"Worth every penny," Dawson smiled.

"When you said Italy, I thought maybe visiting Pacey and Andie in Rome. But this is Venice, so don't you think it's time you tell me what this is all about?"

"Soon," he promised.

* * *

_11:21AM Local Time_

Pacey undid the buttons of his chef's coat with one hand as he jogged up the stairs.

"Il mio augurio più affettuoso in questo giorno di festa!" the chef called after him. "Possano i vostri giorni essere pieni di amore e passione!"

"Molte grazie, Paolo!" he shouted back.

"What did he say?" Doug asked as he and Gretchen raced after their brother.

"That I'm a dead man," Pacey told them, tossing his jacket to his brother and pushing into his hotel room bare-chested.

"Something about passionate love," Gretchen answered, catching her brother's pants as they flew out of the bathroom.

They heard the water of the shower running. "Go get a water taxi," Doug instructed, heading for the closet to pull out Pacey's clothes.

"On it," she announced, moving towards the door.

* * *

_11:50AM Local Time_

Coming to a stop, the driver led Dawson and Joey down wide steps to the canal, where a luxurious water taxi waited.

"Palazzo Cavalli, per favore," Dawson instructed.

"The…palace of horses?" Joey attempted to translate.

"I wouldn't know," he confessed. "My Italian is limited to what I learned from the emergency card on the plane."

The boat came to a stop behind another water taxi in front of a mustard colored building and Dawson and Joey climbed up.

And stopped short immediately.

"Pacey!" Joey shouted.

He turned and hooted with astonishment. "Joey? Dawson?"

Joey flung herself into his arms. "It's been so long!"

"I can't believe you're here," he looked at Dawson, his face mirroring his confusion. "You said you couldn't…"

Joey stepped back long enough to drink him in. Pacey was wearing a dark suit that fitted beautifully over a crisp white shirt with a crimson tie.

"You look _really_ good," she complimented him.

"Don't sound so shocked, Potter. You'll wound my fragile ego."

"Oh, fragile, right," she teased.

Ahead of them up on the sidewalk came a slight cough. "Doug?" Joey looked at Pacey's well-dressed brother and back at Pacey. "What's going on?"

"You don't know?" he looked over at Dawson. "She came all this way and doesn't know?"

Doug called to his brother impatiently.

"Right," Pacey nodded. He took Joey's elbow and led her into the building.

_"Right_," he repeated, distracted. Then he glanced down at his own watch, a gift from not so long ago. Inhaling, he smiled at Joey. "I'm glad you're here. Both of you. And I love you," he said simply. Waving to his brother, he trotted away.

She stood and watched as he and Doug quickly climbed a flight of stairs. Dawson put his hand at the small of Joey's back and led her up as well.

Doug and Pacey passed through a small crowd and into a room. It took a moment for Joey's eyes to adjust as she followed. The water that reflected from below, the windows that ran to the ceiling, the patterned rug and the chairs and the people in them…

Slowly she recognized Jack standing by Doug and Pacey. Jen in a pretty dress and an expression that mixed cynicism and joy. A man in a silver ponytail that helped seat a tiny woman in a big hat.

Gretchen turned as they entered and locked eyes with Dawson. Something Pacey whispered made her look away and grin.

Joey and Dawson stepped quickly out of the way as Mr. McPhee brushed past them.

With Andie on his arm, holding a small bouquet of star lilies.

"Oh," Joey's hand slipped over her mouth. "Oh."

"Surprise," Dawson said softly in her ear.

A harp played a gentle hymn, as everyone gathered around a table. Pacey and Andie stood side by side, barely touching.

A smiling official with a wide sash over his chest stood before them. "Buongiorno. Qui oggi il matrimonio..." He began to intone.

"Welcome. We're here today to marry this man to this woman…" the interpreter smiled.

Pacey looked down at Andie and smiled, his heart and soul shining in his eyes.

At the back of the room, Dawson reached out his hand to Joey with the same expression.

* * *

_A/N:__ First, about places/people. The schools and towns are all real, as is the market behind Notre Dame, Palazzo Cavelli, the airports, etc. The Yacht Club is of my imagination, inspired by a real one that will remain nameless. _

_The Frenchman said "Over there" and the Chef said something along the lines of "Congratulations on your wedding day, may your days together be full of love and passion." I borrowed that wording from a wordreference site with thanks._

_I really, really wanted to marry Pacey and Andie off before her high school graduation - I even wrote the scene where Drue tells her that she's in the wrong place in line and should be ahead of him, unknowing that she has become a 'Witter'. But in the end, I decided that it would be much more reasonable and in keeping with the kinds of support and conditions Doug and Joe McPhee would put on them, if they waited until they were both 21._

_Plus true fans of Pacey and Andie were quick to tell me (bless you) - they __**had to be married in Venice** and it had to be a low-key event because Andie's views on weddings were canon in the show. When researching, I found the Palazzo, which is where most civil weddings in Venice take place. It closes at 1PM and that little fact inspired most of this chapter.  
_

_References to current events, pop culture, and other shows I always try to fit in, especially to the interests of the people who comment (because I totally dig you!) "Wishes were Fishes" was a nod to the moment in the 'Ever I Loved' series that caused a couple of people to ask me to write this P/A story in the first place:) Although this series has actually been the least popular of them all, now that it is done I can say it has become dear to my heart. For those of you who read it all, I hope it was fun for you, too. _

**_ As always, the care and feeding of the author with comments is ... um... well, seriously requested. Begged for. Don't make me come over there. Please :)_**_  
_


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